Just a Bunch of Girly Men!
by RedLotusNin
Summary: Our beloved male heroes, and Sasuke, were ranting on about how troublesome women are when suddenly they bumped into a fortune teller who curses them with a spell. Their curse: Turning into women! A couple hints of romance. DISCONTINUED
1. A Fortune Teller?

Summary: Our very own guy characters were ranting on about how troublesome women are when suddenly they bumped into a fortune teller who curses them with a spell. Their curse: Turning into women! Story takes place 10 years after the chunnin exams.

Chapter 1- A fortune teller?!

Shikamaru, Chouji, and Asuma were sitting at a bar, complaining and muttering things.

"God this tastes horrible..." Muttered Shikamaru, glaring at his sake.

"Than don't drink it..." Said Chouji, stuffing himself on Buffalo wings.

"Might as well drink, maybe I'll forget about Ino's rampage..." Mumbled Shika, Asuma nodded.

"What are you guys complaining about?" Asked a voice, the trio turned and saw Kiba and Shino.

"Ino went on a major moody rampage...Does that sound right?" Said Chouji.

"Yeah! I know how you feel! Kurenai Sensei went mad this morning...." Grunted Kiba.

"Women are troublesome..." Stated Shika sighing, Asuma and Chouji gave a nod in agreement.

"Yeah, Sakura had her period today!!!" Shouted Naruto's voice, the guys turned.

"Whoa, Do I feel sorry for you..." Muttered Asuma.

"We don't talk to Ino if she has her period..." Said Chouji.

"I skip practice when she has her period, I put warning signs on my calendar..." Stated Shikamaru, showing them his pocket sized calendar, Sasuke frowned.

"I didn't even know they made barfing face stickers..." Said Sasuke in awe.

"Hey guys!" Said a voice, everyone turned and saw Jiraiya and Iruka walking into the bar.

"What are you guys talking about?" Asked Iruka, taking a seat next to Shino.

"How pissed girls get..." Said Kiba.

"I remember when Tsunade kicked my ass every time I called her a flat chested bitch when I was 12..." Said Jiraiya, Naruto glared at him.

"You _still_ get your ass kicked you pervert hermit..." Stated Naruto.

"What about you Iruka? Any women trouble?" Asked Kakashi.

"All the rest of the female staff members can get pretty angry..." Said Iruka.

"Are we the only losers who have women trouble?!" Shouted Kiba.

"NO!!!" Said every guy in the bar, getting slaps from their girlfriends and wives.

"Tenten gets scary when she yells..." Stated Lee.

"SO? Temari kicked us out of our apartment!" Shouted Kankurou.

"Hey guys! Join the club!" Shouted Naruto. Gai, Neji, Gaara, Kankurou and Lee took a seat at the table.

"So troublesome..." Mumbled Shikamaru.

::Eventually::

The guys eventually left the bar, still complaining about girls until a person stopped them, the guys turned around and saw a fortune teller.

"I could not help but hear your troublesome thoughts and opinions..." Said the fortune teller in a mysterious accent.

"Got that right..." Muttered Kiba.

"I might be able to help you understand women better...." Said the Fortune Teller's mysterious voice.

"Yeah? How?" Asked Lee, the fortune teller pulled out a handful of small bottles, each had a strange glowing liquid inside, the fortune teller gave each guy a bottle.

"Drink it please..." Said the fortune teller, the guys looked at each other, than shrugged, they than swallowed the liquid, at first they didn't feel anything, than they felt dizzy, they fainted on the floor.

"You will become women, and you will stay women until you understand them..." Said the fortune teller.

::The Next Day::

Naruto woke up and clutched his head, he found himself in his bedroom.

_What the fuck? I feel like someone dropped a piano on my head..._

Naruto walked into the bathroom and yawned he flicked on the switch and rubbed his eyes, he looked in the mirror and gave a very high pitched girly scream...

End of Chapter

Please review! To be continued...(I always wanted to say that...)


	2. GIRLS!

Thank you for the reviews guys! Although I didn't get many...(That was not supposed to sound rude, sorry!) Now onto the story!

Chapter 2- GIRLS?!

Naruto gave a high pitched girly scream.

"Oh my god! I...I..." Naruto looked worried, but then his face turned calm. "I forgot to release my sexy no jutsu..."

_The weird thing is, I don't even remember doing my sexy no jutsu..._

Naruto did his hand seals, nothing happened, he tried it again...nothing, he frowned at looked at the bathroom mirror. He gasped.

"THAT'S NOT MY SEXY NO JUTSU! I DON'T HAVE MY WHISKERS!" screamed Naruto's high pitched girly voice.

"W-Wait a sec...if this isn't my sexy no jutsu...then...then..."

(_- - -_)

Ring! Ring!

_Come on Kakashi-Sensei, please pick up, _Naruto thought, as he waited for his teacher to respond.

"Hello?" said a woman's voice.

"Hi! Is Kakashi there? This is an emergency!" screamed Naruto.

"Sakura? Sakura why are you calling my house?" asked the woman's voice. Naruto's eyes widened.

Why was there a woman at the phone? How did she know Sakura?

An idea hit Naruto.

"K-Kakashi Sensei?" stuttered Naruto.

"Yes?" asked the woman's voice.

"KAKASHI! YOU SOUND LIKE A GIRL! IT'S ME KAKASHI SENSEI! NARUTO!" screamed Naruto.

"N-Naruto, are you on something? I'm not a girl, I-I…" There was a silence on the phone. Naruto heard some shuffling, before hearing a scream. "I'M A WOMAN!"

"I KNOW! I'M A GIRL TOO!" screamed Naruto.

Meanwhile, Kakashi had ran into the bathroom to see his reflection. His hair was still silver but it was styled slightly differently. His bangs ended about an inch past his chin and his lips were a pretty pink, he smiled.

"Ya know, this might not be that bad... I look pretty hot," said Kakashi, Naruto's jaw dropped to the ground.

"How could you say that?! Would you say that if Kurenai found out? Or Asuma? Or one of the other Jounin? Your reputation could be wrecked!" hissed Naruto. Kakashi's eyes widened.

"Naruto, we can not tell a single soul about this, got it? Man to man?" Asked Kakashi.

"Ha! You mean woman to woman..." Said Naruto, smirking. Kakashi smiled.

"Cocky bastard, or bitch?" Kakashi had a question mark over his head, Kakashi then heard a beep on the phone.

"I'll call you later Naruto, meet me at Ichiriaku in ten..." Said Kakashi.

"Alright!" Agreed Naruto with a nod, he then hung up. He looked in his closet.

"Oh crap, I'm a girl now..." Said Naruto. Kakashi clicked the button to go on the other line.

"Hi, uhm, this is Kakashi's dear sister, he can not come to the phone, may I take a message?" Asked Kakashi.

"Tell him to call Sasuke back!" Screamed a girl's voice, Kakashi's eyes almost popped out of his eye sockets.

"S-S-Sasuke????" Screamed Kakashi. 0,0

"Kakashi Sensei?" Asked Sasuke's girly voice.

"S-Sasuke, you're a girl too?" Asked Kakashi amazed.

"Yeah, and the worst thing is, I don't know what happened..."Said Sasuke.

"Naruto is a girl too!" Said Kakashi.

"Really? I can't remember what happened, including the fact that my curse seal is missing..." Said Sasuke, Kakashi nodded.

"Yeah, and my eyes, including my sharingan, are both replaced with a pair of blue eyes...sexy blue eyes..." Said Kakashi, examining his girl self in the mirror.

"KAKASHI SENSEI!" Screeched Sasuke's voice in the phone, Kakashi sighed.

"I'm still here aren't I? Look, I'll meet you at Ichiriaku..." Said Kakashi.

"Alright!" Agreed Sasuke with a nod, He looked in his closet.

"Oh crap..." Said Sasuke.

"I'm a girl...But a Sexy Girl!" Finished Kakashi with a smile.

"Shikamaru! Get your lazy ass up! Don't make me come up there Shikamaru!" Screeched Mrs. Nara. (I'm just going to call her Mrs. Nara, okay?)

"..." Shikamaru didn't say anything, he just sat up and yawned, he got down from his bed and started walking, and he tripped and fell on his butt.

_How troublesome, my body feels different, I feel lighter..._

He rubbed his butt, his eyes widened.

"W-what's wrong with my ass? What is wrong with my voice???" Screamed Shika. Shikamaru shot up and ran to the bathroom.

"OHMYGOD!" Screamed Shikamaru, he stared at his reflection in horror, his hair was long and black and ended at his shoulders, why was he a girl??? Should he call Asuma? Shika ran into his room and grabbed the phone and dialed Asuma's number.

"Hello?" Asked a woman's voice.

"Hi, this is Shikamaru, may I talk to Asuma?" Asked Shika.

"Oh no, not you too Shikamaru..." Said the woman's voice.

"Asuma sensei? What happened Asuma sensei?" Asked Shika.

"I don't know, Chouji turned into a girl too, we'll meet you at Ichiriaku in ten, got it?" Asked Asuma, Shika gave a nod.

"Got it." Shikamaru then hung up the phone, Asuma frowned.

"Doesn't anyone say good bye anymore?" Mumbled Asuma, hanging up the phone.

Neji's room was completely silent...RING! Neji's eyes shot open, he sweared underneath his breath.

"Hello?" Asked Neji, answering the phone, his face turned confused, his voice was all messed up.

"Hello Hinata, is Neji San home?" Asked a girl's voice.

"This isn't Hinata, who's this?" Asked Neji.

"Oh, sorry Hanabi, this is...uhm...Lee's girlfriend! Yeah! Lee's girlfriend!" Said the girl's voice.

"Lee? Is this some sort of sick joke?" Asked Neji.

"NEJI??? FIRST GAI SENSEI AND NOW YOU???" Yelled Lee, Neji rolled his eyes.

"What the hell are you on y-"Neji couldn't finish his sentence due to the fact that he saw his mirror, the Hyuuga Neji was replaced with a girl with brown hair and pale blue eyes, his left eye twitched madly. O.o

"I KNOW! IT'S WEIRD! Oh yeah, Gai Sensei said we should meet at Ichiriaku..." Said Lee.

"Yeah…" Said Neji, still staring at his reflection.

"KIBA!!!" Sang a loud voice, kicking Kiba's door in the process.

_Oh god just shoot me..._

"Kiba! Time to get up..." Sang Kiba's sister, shaking the lump that was covered in blankets, which was supposedly Kiba. Kiba grumbled muffled words underneath the blankets, his sister frowned.

"GET YOUR ASS UP YOU LAZY BUM!" His sister shrieked. Then she ended sweetly, "Please?"

"Kine..." Kiba gave in.

"Hehe, I'm such a good sister..." Said the girl, skipping off, closing the door behind, she then opened it.

"Uhm...Kiba?"

"Mephes?" Asked Kiba's muffled voice.

"Uh…none of your weird friends are coming over, right?" She asked.

"Whish onsh?" Asked Kiba.

She grinned. "Any of them. Your friends are weird; I don't want any of them coming back any time soon." She then closed Kiba's door and headed toward the kitchen. Kiba pulled off the blanket and gasped for air.

"DAMN! About time she got out! Sheesh, she's such a loudmouth, I'm glad I didn't turn out like her...TIME TO GET TO ICHIRAKU!!" Shouted Kiba, hopping off his bed.

_I'm going to have to go out the window, or sis will catch me sounding like a girl...I wonder what she was talking about? _

Kiba pulled up his hood and jumped down from his window.

_Time for Ichiriaku..._ thought all the guys, or should I say, girls?

End of Chapter

Alright, next chapter is going to be a lot more interesting, Iruka and Jiraiya in the next chapter! Woo Hoo! I decided to change their age to 16. Please review!


	3. No More Meetings at Ichiraku! Pt1

Sorry I didn't update in a while, I trying to catch up as fast as I can, please read! Oh yeah, I also don't know much about Kiba's family, so I decide to make him have two sisters and a brother, just in case he has a brother or a sister.

Chapter 3- No More Meetings At Ichiriaki! Part 1

Kiba was happiliy walking down the street, but he couldn't help but notice that a few GUYS were checking him out.

_No...that can't be it...I can't even get a girl to like me..._

Kiba ignored his suspicion and continued walking when suddenly a GUY wolf whistled, Kiba's left eye twitched.

_OKAY THERE IS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG! THAT GAY LORD JUST WOLF WHISTLED AT ME!!!_

"Hn....Gay lord.." He muttered angriliy to himself. (RedLotusNin- In case you didn't notice by now, Kiba doesn't know he's a girl...Oh yeah, I don't have anything against gay people, Kiba does.)

Naruto was throwing everything out of his closet.

"There has to be-"

"Something I can wear..." Finished Sasuke, who was throwing things out of his dresser, he then paused, why did he care what he wore? It didn't really matter. He turned to a pair of shorts and a shirt.

_Then again, if I'm a girl, people will either think I'm gay, dressing as a girl, or, they'll think I'm a hooker that belongs to...well...me..._

He put on the shorts and stared at his shirt for a LONG time, all of his shirts had the Uchiha symbol on it, He couldn't WEAR it...without a jacket... he put on the shirt and put a jacket over it.

Naruto continued to look through his closet.

"Maybe if I wore the black shirt I wear underneath my jumpsuit, people won't notice..." Naruto put on the black shirt, it was a little big...

"Ah well, I just need to get some shorts..." He grabbed a pair of shorts and slipped them on...he looked in the mirror when his pants fell down, revealing his penguin boxers, he sweatdropped. He grabbed the back of his shirt an pulled, he almost got a nosebleed, seeing his figure.

"OKAY! I NEED TO GET A BELT!" Shouted Naruto, racing around the room.

Sakura grabbed her traditional outfit and marched out the door.

"What a nice day..." She said happiliy to herself, she walked to the training grounds, when she got there, no one was there.

_Strange...no one's here..._

**Inner Sakura: Damn it! We could have asked Sasuke on a date! We haven't bothered him for the last 4 weeks so we would have a better chance!**

Sakura sighed sadly and sat down by the tree where Sasuke usually sat on the branches.

"Maybe I'm early..."

Naruto FINALLY got a belt and walked out the door, he easily got annoyed by all the 'flirting' and 'checking out' the guys were doing, Naruto finally had enough.

"KEEP YOUR EYES TO YOURSELF PERVS!" He shouted, finally reaching Ichiriaki, when he got inside, his eyes nearly popped out of his sockets, Sitting at one of the benches was a girl with a long ponytail and a green jacket with a forhead protecter tied around her left arm.

"S-Shikamaru???" He said, the girl turned her head.

"Wha...Do I know you???" He asked, Naruto ran over.

"It's me dumbass! Naruto!" He said, Shika's left eye twitched.

"N-Naruto? Wait...you got proof?" He asked, squinting his eyes, Naruto thought for a moment, then turned to the chef.

"12 ramens please!" He said happiliy, a few girls stared at Naruto and murmered things like 'How can she eat so much but keep that figure?' or 'Maybe I should try eating 12 ramens...' The chef stared at Naruto like he was a mad man.

"Okaaaay..." He said, slowly turning around.

"Yep, that's Naruto..." Said a girl, next to Shikamaru.

"Eh? Who's that?" Asked Naruto.

"Says she's Chouji but I still don't believe it..." Said Shikamaru.

"Why not?" Asked Naruto, Shikamru grabbed the back of the girl's shirt and pulled like Naruto did when his pants fell down, Naruto's eyes widened, the girl was SUPER SKINNY.

"I am Chouji! Ask me any question..." Said Chouji.

"Okay, Let's say Iruka devised a way to train the ninja academy students in the art of mass combat. These mock battles are divided into 2 rounds. Round A and Round B.

In Round A, The students are allowed to fight against anyone and as many opponents they choose. (i.e. 1 nin can go against 5, or 3 can go against 7) However, the nins cannot change opponents.

Round B : The students must not spar with the opponents encounted in the previous round and must spar with all those they didn't fight in the first round.

This is to ensure that the weakest student will have a chance to fight the strongest of the lot and that the ninja-wannabes will be trained in fighting as a part of a group or against many. Each student is tagged numerically and Iruka draws up a table that lists the opponents of each student.

The Question: In one particular battle, Iruka discovered that the table he gets in the 2nd round could be made identical to that in the 1st round simply by re-labelling the students. If all the students are now divided into squads of 4, what is the possible numbers of students that will be left over?" Asked Shikamaru, Chouji and Naruto stared at Shikamaru dumbfounded. (I got that question from Naruto Fever dot com)

"....What?" He asked after an awkward silence.

"Okay, ALMOST any question..." Said Chouji.

"Who is your teacher?" Asked Naruto.

"Asuma..." Said Chouji.

"Who is bossy?" Asked Shika.

"Ino of course!" Said Chouji.

"Anyone can know these questions..." Stated Shika, suddenly, a lightbulb popped over his head.

"Even the Fatass would know the answers to that..." Said Shika, shrugging, Chouji glared.

"FOR THE LAST TIME! I AM NOT A FATASS!!!!!" Screamed Chouji, Naruto grinned.

"Nice to have you back Chouji!" Said Naruto. "Right Shika....Shika....Shikamaru???" Naruto looked at Shikamaru, whose face was a little pale.

"Eh? What's wrong?" Asked Naruto.

"Look over by the door..." He said, Naruto turned around, he almost fell over, because Tenten and Ino just walked in...

End of Chapter

Uh oh, will Ino and Tenten find out that the guys turned into girls? Will KIBA find out he's a girl? Will Chouji ever be able to solve Shikamaru's complicated Math Question? Who knows!? Please Review!


	4. No More Meetings at Ichiraku! Pt2

I AM SOOOOOO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! Ahem...Thank you, thank you! I loved my reviews. Now onto the story! CHARGE!

Chapter 4- No more meetings at Ichiriaku! Part 2

"Oh.....my.....god....." Whispered Chouji.

"Quick! Turn around! Maybe they won't notice us!" Ordered Naruto, the three immediatly turned, Shikamaru could feel himself sweating. Tenten and Ino walked into the ramen shop and walked past the three, but Ino stopped. _All_ three guys started to sweat.

"Why'd you stop Ino?" Asked Tenten. Ino ignored her and walked up to Shikamaru, who was fighting the urge to break the window with Naruto's head (For not giving them a better plan) and hop out of the window and run down the street, screaming like a maniac and run down to his house while the people and nurses from 'Demented Hills' chase after him with straight (Did I spell that right???) Jackets and handcuffs.

"Uhm...I know this sounds crazy but I think I've seen you before..." Said Ino, It took all of Shikamaru's strength not to do his escape plan.

"That's....Impossible...I-I d-don't even know you!" Said Shikamaru, laughing nervously. Tenten walked over to them, standing next to Ino.

"You're right...she looks like Shikamaru with those clothes on...." Said Tenten in awe.

"UH....S-Shikamaru???" Stuttered Shika.

"You're right Tenten...." Agreed Ino.

"T-That's ridiculous! This Shikamaru's a guy right? How could this be Shikamaru?" Said Chouji.

"But her clothes are EXACTLY the same, how do you explain that?!" Asked Ino, raising an eyebrow, Shikamaru elbowed Naruto who muttered something like 'Ouch'. Naruto turned around and looked at Shikamaru who had a Oh-God-Just-Save-Me-Or-Kill-Me-You-Son-Of-A-Bitch Look on his face, Naruto cleared his throat.

"T-The reason why she has Shikamaru's clothes is because...because..." Naruto stuttered, Ino raised a brow.

"Because..." She said.

"Because she's...Shikamaru's...." Naruto saw in the corner of his eye a poster for the second Come Come Paradise Movie. "Because she's Shikamaru's hooker...YEAH, SHIKAMARU'S HOOKER! And when she left she didn't bring any extra clothes with her so Shikamaru lent her his clothes!" Ino's face paled while Tenten's left eye twitched madly, Chouji and Shikamaru's jaw dropped in unison. Shikamaru imagined himself throwing Naruto down a swirling pit of fire while munchkins break danced to Hip hop music background.

"..." No one said anything, it was just an akward silence.

"T-Tha..." Ino said after a long silence, everyone looked at the VERY pale Ino, her eyes then burst into flames while lightning flashed in the background.

"THAT PERVERT!" Shrieked Ino, with everyone in Ichiriaku staring at her, a kid even started crying. "FORGET LUNCH! I'M GOING OVER TO THAT PERV'S HOUSE AND KICK HIS ASS!" Ino then stomped out of the ramen shop, Tenten ran after her.

"INO! YOU COULD GO TO JAIL IF YOU KILL SOMEONE!"

Shikamaru's left eye twitched, his jaw was still dropped, and he looked as if a moose just ran by and kicked him in the shin and ran away, he then glared at Naruto.

"If I die...which I probaly will...you stay away from my funeral..." Shikamaru muttered dangerously under his breath, Naruto chuckled nervously, As for Kiba...

"Hey there hot stuff!" Said a random guy on the street.

"GAYLORD!" Shouted Kiba, the guy stared.

"Cross dresser..." He muttered.

"What is wrong with theses people?" Kiba quietly asked himself.

End of Chapter

Short...Stupid...Pretty Funny though I guess. PLEASE REVIEW!


	5. Neji and Sasuke's new threat!

Ano...sorry I haven't updated in forever...gomen, gomen! You guys are so patient and I don't even deserve it...(Sweatdrops) Anyways, I'm going to answer your reviews (Inhales deeply) Here we go!

Sorry if I didn't answer your review, now onto the story, CHARGE!

Chapter 5- Neji and Sasuke's new Threat!

Sasuke ran out of his house, hopping behind every bush and tree he came by.

"Phew, the coast is clear..." He said to himself, he jumped out of the bush he was hiding in, but then ran into someone, a girl to be exact. They both fell backwards.

"Watch where you're going you baka!" They said in unison, Sasuke took a look at this girl, the girl and long brown hair and pale blue eyes, but something caught Sasuke's attention, it was the jacket and the way she was wearing her forehead protector, the jacket had the Hyuuga Symbol on it, and the forehead protector had the same buckle things that Neji had.

"H-Hyuuga?" Asked Sasuke, the girl's eyes widened.

"Is that you Uchiha?" Asked the girl, Sasuke stood up as well as Neji.

"This is creepy, you lost your byakugan, and did everyone turn into girls?" Asked Sasuke.

"I don't know, I know that Lee turned into a girl..." Said Neji.

"This is...terrible...I guess every cloud does NOT have a silver lining, I can't use my sharingan, and if anyone finds out who I am, I'm doomed..." Said Sasuke.

"At least we don't have fan girls..." Said Neji, Sasuke's eyes widened.

"T-That's right...N-No fan girls, no running down the roads, no Ino, no Sakura, no NOTHING! NO GETTING PIECES OF MY SHIRT RIPPED OFF, NO MORE---" Neji cut Sasuke's victorious moment short.

"Uh...Uchiha, there's still a bad part..." Said Neji, Sasuke frowned.

"What's worse then annoying fan girls?" Asked Sasuke.

"Annoying fan boys..." Answered Neji, Sasuke's eyes widened.

"HEY! THERE'S THAT HOT GIRL WE RAN INTO!" Shouted a voice.

"AND SHE HAS A HOT FRIEND TOO!" Shouted another, rumbling could be heard, Sasuke and Neji hesitated before looking, there was a HUGE group of fan boys running towards them, they had flowers and chocolates and cute little teddy bears, Sasuke glared at Neji.

"WHY DID YOU LURE THOSE STUPID LOVE SICK PUPPIES HERE?" Screamed Sasuke, shaking Neji's shoulders, Neji glared at him.

"Don't...Touch...Me..." Snarled Neji in a dangerous tone, piece by piece, Sasuke took his hands off of Neji's shoulders.

"What do we do then!" Asked Sasuke.

"Isn't obvious! We do what we always do..." Said Neji, Sasuke nodded, they both took a deep breath and...ran away.

Kiba, STILL not noticing he was a girl, walked down the street, Kiba vowed that he would kill the next 'gay lord' who flirted or whistled at him, Kiba noticed a guy looking at him.

_Go on buddy, I DARE ya..._

And as if the man read Kiba's mind, when Kiba walked by the man, the man SLAPPED his ass, Kiba's eyebrows furrowed all the way.

"THAT'S IT BUDDY! YOU'RE GOING DOWN!" Kiba punched the guy, Kiba then did some hand seals. "Beast Man Cl---" Kiba was cut off when somebody grabbed his hands to stop him from doing his last hand seal, Kiba faced the person who DARED to stop him. Kiba came face to face with a girl with two long pigtails and black sunglasses, the girl also had a coat that covered the lower part of her face.

"...Damn you look familiar..." He said, the girl sweatdropped.

"...You're still as slow as a dead light bulb..." She said, Kiba growled and put his hands by his sides, the man slowly stood up, but Kiba punched him again, the girl's eyebrows furrowed.

"...What?" He asked.

"Kiba, we need to get going." Said the girl flatly.

"W-What? H-How did you---" Kiba was interrupted.

"I don't like repeating." The girl said firmly, the girl turned around and walked away, Kiba shrugged and followed.

Jiraiya lazily woke up, he looked at the clock.

"OH MY GOD!...OH MY GOD!" Screamed Jiraiya again, when he heard his voice. He got up and trotted to his bathroom.

"...I-I-I...I'M SEXY!" He shouted.

Iruka clutched the back of his head, what was he going to do? He has students to teach! What could he do? A light bulb suddenly popped over Iruka's head. He'd have to call Kakashi, it was the only way...

_Ring! Ring!_

"Hello?" Asked a woman's voice, Iruka looked confused.

"Kakashi?" He asked.

"Uh...great, uhm...Naruto? Sasuke? God, I can't remember what your voices sound like..." Said Kakashi.

"Naruto? Sasuke? Kakashi! It's me, Iruka!" Shouted Iruka.

"Whoa...this...just keeps getting freakier..." Said Kakashi.

"I-I don't know what happened, I can't remember a thing..." The chuunin said.

"Neither can I, or Naruto and Sasuke, they're girls too..." Said Kakashi.

"Oh, I've seen Naruto as a girl before, it's just plain freaky...Anyways, what are we going to do?" Asked Iruka.

"I'll meet you at Ichiraku..." Said Kakashi, Iruka raised an eyebrow.

"Are you going to be there on time?" Asked Iruka, but it was too late, Kakashi already hung up, and Iruka sighed and also hung up.

"Why do I even bother asking?" The chuunin murmured to himself.

"Who the hell are you?" Asked Kiba, the girl faced him.

"Shino, I'm Shino, I thought you would realize that by now..." Said Shino, Kiba stared at Shino for a couple of seconds.

"There's this guy on my team who has the same name..." Said Kiba dumbly, Shino sweatdropped.

"Kiba, I AM that guy, we turned into girls..." Explained Shino.

"I'm not a girl, although that would explain a lot..." Said Kiba, Shino rolled his eyes under his sunglasses, he pushed Kiba by a shop window so he could see his reflection, Kiba's eyes widened.

"I AM a girl..." He said, noticing his soft, layered brown hair that went by his shoulders. He didn't have the triangles on his face though. "Where are my triangles?" Asked Kiba.

"I don't know, but we need to talk to someone about it..." Said Shino.

"We can't go to Kurenai, she'll make fun of us forever! And I don't think Hinata could find a way to help us..." Said Kiba.

"Maybe we could talk to the rest of the rookie nine..." Said Shino.

"Yeah, we can talk to a fatass, a lazy bum, Sasuke Fan Girls, cold hearted bastards, or, my personal favorite, THE DUDE WHO FARTED IN MY FACE IN THE CHUUNIN EXAMS!" Screeched Kiba in the end, Shino wiped Kiba's spit off of his face.

"Look, it's the only chance we got, we have to find them, Naruto should be at Ichiraku...Let's go..." Said Shino, Kiba grumbled a few things before following Shino.

Meanwhile, with Sasuke and Neji...

"Huh...I wonder where they went..." Said a boy's voice looking around.

"LOOK! I THINK THAT'S THEM!" Said another, the sound of rumbling could be heard. Part of a wall in the shop moved, the part of the wall disappeared, and Neji and Sasuke were standing there.

"...Yeah...They fell for the easiest trick in the book..." Said Neji rolling his eyes, Sasuke grabbed the cloth they used to camouflage themselves.

"Ha, they fell for this! Idiots..." Said Sasuke.

"Now to head for Ichiraku..." Said Neji, the two then headed for the Ramen Shop.

End of Chapter

How will Jiraiya and Iruka deal with this? Will Sasuke and Neji escape the fan boys? Will Naruto ever stop eating ramen? ...Sorry, I got caught up in the moment... Anyways, Sand Sibs in the next chapter, please review!


	6. The Meeting!

Okay, sorry it took so DAMN long! I also wanted to add that in this chapter I'm using and idea I got from Saki-Kun. Anyways, you might have noticed the 'IceHunterNin' thing in the name, see, IceHunterNin is my sis, I convinced her to write a fanfic. (We're working on a project to do together, she's really smart so she does good battle scenes, check Author Page Thingy for details...CHECK IT NOW!!!)

Chapter 6- The Meeting!

"Hmm...this is still strange, I should talk to Naruto about this, maybe he can help out a bit...man, this is going to be great research... My next issue could be about a man turning into a woman, just like what's happening to me... hehehehehehehehe..." Said Jiraiya, laughing at the end, he flipped his now silky, sexy, long silver hair and gave a grin. "Life is good..."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Life is bad..." Said Gaara bluntly. Gaara was looking in the bathroom mirror, his red hair were in high pigtails (Naruto Sexy No Jutsu Style Pigtails) and the Kanji on his forhead was missing, his eyes still had an outline aorund them, except it wasn't as dark and thick like it was before, but the worst thing was...he had eyebrows.

"I agree..." Said an angry voice, Gaara looked to his right to see a girl version of Kankurou next to him. The girl had short black hair and purple lipstick on.

"You look funny..." Said Gaara, Kankurou glared.

"Maybe it's the fact that...oh...I don't know... THAT I'M A GIRL!!!" Said Kankurou, shouting at the end.

"That's not what I meant...You look funny with purple lipstick on..." Said Gaara firmly.

"And you look funny with breasts..." Said Kankurou, snickering, Gaara rolled his Aqua eyes.

"Whatever, we need to get out of the house..." Said Gaara, Kankurou had a confused look on his face. "Before Temari blackmails us..."

"Ah..." Was all Kankuoru said.

"We need to steal Temari's clothes..." Said Gaara, the two then ran into Temari's room to steal her clothes, a few minutes later they ran outside of their apartment.

"Okay, are we good?" Asked Kankurou, who was wearing jeans and a lavender shirt.

"Yeah, let's find a place to go, Temari never goes into Ichiriaku right?" Asked Gaara, who was in a red shirt and black skirt.

"She thinks ramen will make her fat, let's go there." Said Kankurou. The two start walking to Ichiriaku, when suddenly, a HUGE group of fanboys ran up to them, they started shouting things like 'Will you go out with me?' or really cheesy pick up lines, after a couple of minutes, listening to their blabbing, Kankurou started wishing he brought his puppet. Fortunaly for Kankuro, Gaara had his gourd, but unfortunaly for the fanboys...Gaara was annoyed and pissed.

The crowd of fanboys stopped talking when Gaara used his Sand Jutsus to kill an innocent, lovesick, hormoned teenager.

The crowd was silent, they stared at the corpse for loooong time...

"...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Screamed a guy, suddenly, all the guys screamed and ran away.

"Happy Now?" Asked Kankurou.

"A little..." Said Gaara.

----------------------------------------------------Ichiriaku---------------------------------------------------------

"Gai Sensei, I don't see any reconizable people..." Said a girl with short black hair.

"Be patient Lee, will find them soon enough..." Said an almost identicle woman except she was taller and skinnier. Yes, these to were Lee and Gai. Are they normal?

...Of course not, they were pretty normal (Their looks at least) but...Lee and Gai had their same eyes...did they have the same eyebrows? HELL NO!!! NO GIRL ALIVE WOULD BE CAUGHT DEAD WITH THOSE LAME EXCUSES FOR EYEBROWS!!! (Well, in my case anyways...)

Naruto, fortunaly, heard this short converstions over Shikamaru's pleads to Kami-Sama that he would live after Ino started beating the living shit out of him. Naruto stood up and walked over to Lee and Gai.

"Lee? Gai? What are you doing here?" He asked, Gai and Lee looked at him.

"Naruto? Is that you?" Lee asked.

"DUH!" Said Naruto.

"We just got here..." Said Lee.

"WHY are you here?" Asked Naruto.

"We're meeing with Neji San." Said Gai.

"Don't tell me..." Said Naruto.

"Yes..." Gai and Lee said in unison, Naruto gave them a hard stare for a loooong time.

"...UHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!! HAHAH---" Naruto stopped laughing and started coughing, he then started laughing again, he was interuppted when the sound of a door shutting entered. Naruto turned and saw a woman who a long, sharp, blue bangs, and a long blue ponytail. She had a cigarette in her mouth and looked a bit angry. Naruto saw Chouji and Shikamaru get out of their chairs to walk to the woman.

"Asuma Sensei Right?" Asked Chouji, the woman nodded. Asuma turned his head and saw Naruto and the others.

"Looks like half of us is here..." Said Asuma, with a slightly amused look.

--------------------------------------------Eventually-------------------------------------------

After a long time of waiting, the rest of the girls/guys made it there. The guys were slightly shocked to see Jiraiya, Kankurou, Gaara, and Iruka.

"Okay look..." Started Asuma. "We all need different names, we can't go around calling each other by their real names or people might get a little suspicious..."

"We also need girl clothes, me and Jiraiya decided to take that job..." Stated Kakashi, everyone stared at the two.

"What?" Asked Jiraiya and Kakashi in unison.

"Why should we trust _you_...?" Asked Kiba, eyebrows furrowed.

"Unless you guys WANT to waste your money..." Said Jiraiya, no one said anything.

"Our names shouldn't be too complicated otherwise we will forget them. Here they are..." Said Shikamaru.

Kankurou- Keiko

Gaara- Yaara

Naruto- Naruko

Sasuke- Sachi

Kakashi- Kasaki

Shikamaru- Shikayko

Chouji- Cho

Asuma- Asaki

Iruka- Ikiko

Jiraiya- Junko

Kiba- Kina

Shino- Sumi

Gai- Mai

Lee- Lita

Neji- Nami

"...These names suck..." Stated Sasuke.

"Shut up _Sachi...._" Said Naruto, his eyebrows furrowing when he said Sasuke's girl name.

"_Naruko..._" Said Sasuke, returning a deadly glare.

"Calm down you idiots! We are going to stay at Kakashi's place to wait for our girly clothes, go it?!?" Asked Kiba, 'calmly'.

"Whatever..." Muttered Sasuke.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"DAMN IT!!! WHERE ARE THEY?!?" Screamed Sakura, still waiting for her team mates and teacher to come.

End of Chapter

I'm too lazy to answer reviews so sorry. Anyways, before reviewing, go to my Author's page thingy and go to the bottom of the page, there, you will see a fanfic that me and my sister were both going to write, I want you to review and say if it's a good idea or not. Ja Ne!


	7. Tsunade Betrays!

Since I'm took so long to update this story I decided to write another chapter for this one. Now to answer reviews.

Oh, I'm also putting a list with the guys names just in case but I'm still using their guy names, the only time you'll see their girl names is when they're talking in public.

Kankurou- Keiko

Gaara- Yaara

Naruto- Naruko

Sasuke- Sachi

Kakashi- Kasaki

Shikamaru- Shikayko (But I'm going to write it as Shikako)

Chouji- Cho

Asuma- Asaki

Iruka- Ikiko

Jiraiya- Junko

Kiba- Kina

Shino- Sumi

Gai- Mai

Lee- Lita

Neji- Nami

Onto the story!

Chapter 7- Tsunade's Betrays!

"I don't trust Kakashi Sensei and Ero Sennin..." Muttered Naruto.

"Like we have a choice, we can't go to our houses and get money..." Said Shikamaru lazily.

"I _had _to spend all that money on ramen..." Said Naruto, blaming himself.

"YOUR money? Then what happened to mine?" Snarled Sasuke.

"Oh yeah..." Said Naruto, chuckling nervously.

"I'm never making a bet with you again..." Muttered Sasuke, Naruto grinned.

"Okay, what the hell is taking them so long?" Asked Kiba, looking at the clock on Kakashi's living room wall.

-Kakashi and Jiraiya-

"Hmm...This outfit is so...sexy!" Exclaimed Kakashi smiling.

"That's it right?" Asked Jiraiya, after Kakashi put some orange tube top in the cart.

"Yeah, let's pay for it!" He exclaimed. The duo ran over to pay for it, giggling madly.

-Kakashi's House-

"DAMN PERVERTS! What's taking so long?" Screamed Naruto, standing up, Asuma grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him down so Naruto was sitting in the chair again. Naruto muttered something along the lines of 'Ouch'.

After a couple of minutes of waiting, Kakashi and Jiraiya entered the house.

"About time..." Muttered Neji, crossing his arms.

"Okay, your clothes are in the bag!" Said Kakashi, throwing everyone a bag. The 'Girls' looked in their bag and blushed madly.

"Uhm...Kakashi...this is a little..." Started Iruka.

"PERVERTED! SLUTTY! SKIMPY!" Suggested Naruto, holding the orange tube top.

"Well that's not what I was going to say but...he's right..." Said Iruka, closing the bags.

"I refuse to wear this..." Said Neji, throwing his bag at the floor.

"Same here..." Agreed Sasuke, stuffing the clothes back in the bag.

"I don't even like showing my face, how am I supposed to wear this?" Asked Shino, holding a tank top.

"This is...wrong..." Said Shikamaru, eyebrow twitching.

"Ew..." Said Kiba, looking at an incredibly short jean skirt.

"Are you allowed to wear stuff like this?" Asked Asuma, not even daring to look in the bag.

"I agree..." Said Lee, also not looking in his bag.

"We don't have much of a choice, we can't wear our normal clothes, and I already GOT in trouble for that..." Said Shika, glaring at Naruto at the end of his sentence.

"We can wear our sister's clothes..." Said Kankurou smirking.

"Won't Temari find it a little suspicious that some complete strangers are wearing her clothes?" Asked Kiba.

"Too bad we wasted a lot of money on these clothes..." Said Jiraiya.

"Yeah, no refunds either...We can't return these..." Said Kakashi disappointed.

"What a shame..." Said Jiraiya sadly.

"Oh cut the crap, we'll wear these...things...until we can get some new clothes..." Said Asuma, glaring at Kakashi and Jiraiya, everyone else glared at them too. Kakashi and Jiraiya just smiled which caused everyone to burn in fury.

"Okay, go get changed!" Said Kakashi happily, a little TOO happily, everyone growled.

"Where do we change?" Asked Iruka.

"RUN TO FASTEST FREE ROOM!" Shouted Kiba, running into the bathroom and locking the door, everyone sat there for awhile, suddenly Naruto ran towards the stairs, all the guys/girls ran off to the nearest room.

Naruto laughed to himself when he made it to the upstairs bathroom, the bathrooms were the only place with locks.

"SURRENDER THE BATHROOM!" Shouted Kankurou, banging on the bathroom.

"NO WAY!" Shouted Naruto.

While Kankurou was yelling at Naruto, he was so stupid he didn't go into the basement bathroom like Lee did.

"This is annoying..." Said Shikamaru, trying to find an open room, Chouji, who was with Shikamaru, spoke up.

"We could go into the guest bedroom and change there..." Said Chouji.

"I call the closet in there..." Said Shikamaru.

"Why the closet?" Asked Chouji.

" 'Cause I can suffocate and die in there..." Said Shikamaru, opening the Guest bedroom door, Chouji sweatdropped.

The only person who didn't seem to be rushing was Shino. He stepped into a room, Kankurou, who gave up on the bathroom, was now trying to steal the room from Shino.

"You don't need this room, go in the basement and change..." Said Shino.

"There are bugs in there!" Exclaimed Kankurou, Shino opened the door he was about to go in, in the room were thousands of bugs.

"HOLY SHIT!" Shouted Kankurou, running away.

"Okay guys, come back..." Said Shino after Kankurou left, the bugs went through Shino's sleeves and back in his body. Shino then went back in the room. He smirked.

_Bugs are so useful..._

-

"I don't get why those idiots are rushing..." Said Neji, standing outside the upstairs bathroom along with Sasuke and Gaara.

"It's called Taking Turns..." Said Sasuke to Kankurou, who was rushing by.

"...Oh yeah..." Said Kankurou.

"I can't believe you're my OLDER brother..." Said Gaara, Kankurou glared.

-

"Man this is annoying..." Said Asuma, trying to find a room. He looked around and found a closet.

_Better then nothing..._ He thought, going into the closet.

-Eventually-

Everyone came back to the living room. Everyone (Excluding Jiraiya and Kakashi) felt uncomfortable with their new clothes on. (Especially Shino considering the fact he hates even showing his face...)

"Your sensei needs to DIE..." Chouji growled to Naruto. Chouji was dressed in a tight black shirt and shorts and had gold earrings.

"Which one?" Asked Naruto, who was in an orange tube top and a black skirt and black high heels.

"Both..." Shikamaru said to Naruto. Shikamaru was dressed in a similar outfit as Naruto but he had a green tank top on.

"Oh be quiet _Shikako..._" Growled Naruto.

"Okay, who the hell named me that?" Snarled Shikamaru aloud.

"Why are you complaining? I went from Gaara to _Yaara_..." Said Gaara, who was in a red/orange tank top and very tight jeans and tan sandals.

"You're right, I _shouldn't _be complaining..." Said Shikamaru, slightly freaked out that Gaara's name rhymed.

"I don't see why we have to wear this stuff, Hinata doesn't have to wear this..." Said Shino, who was in a black tank top and black skirt and high heels. Fortunately for him, he got to keep his sunglasses.

"Thank god, I'd have a heart attack..." Said Kiba, who was in a very short jean skirt and red tube top and red flip flops.

"I _want _to have a heart attack..." Said Sasuke, who had tight jeans and a V-Cut shirt that was _pink_. Naruto laughed at him. Sasuke pointed back at him and returned the laugh, Naruto immediately stopped laughing and glared, Sasuke smirked.

"This is getting out of hand..." Said Asuma, who was in a blue sleeveless Chinese style shirt and black skirt and black sandals.

"Oh come on guys! It's not that bad!" Said Jiraiya who was in a pink tank top and jean skirt. Kakashi, who was in a blue shirt and black skirt, agreed. All the... uh... 'Girls' growled in fury.

"You guys have no respect, do you?" Asked Iruka, who was in a lavender shirt and shorts.

"Iruka's right!" Exclaimed Lee, who was in a green tank top and jean skirt, like Gai. "This is disrespectful"

"For once, I agree with Lee, we're barely wearing clothes..." Said Neji, who was in a white tube top and black skirt and black high heels.

"You guys complain too much!" Said Jiraiya. "You finally get to experience what it's like to be a woman! Don't you understand how many chicks you'll get after you understand them! How many guys get an opportunity like this?"

"WHO SAID WE WANTED TO PICK UP CHICKS! EVEN IF WE WANTED TO, WE CAN'T! WE'LL ONLY GET TO DATE LESBIAN GIRLS!" Exclaimed Kankurou, who had a red shirt and jeans on.

"Look, we'll settle this out..." Said Jiraiya in, surprisingly, a serious tone.

"Really?" Asked Naruto, slightly surprised by Jiraiya's sudden change of personality.

"I don't want to get checked out by men, I'm not gay. I'm going to go to Tsunade and see is she can do anything..." Said Jiraiya.

"Yeah, old Tsunade will fix things out..." Said Naruto, as Jiraiya left.

-

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T WANT TO FIX THINGS OUT!" Exclaimed Jiraiya, Tsunade smirked.

"Jiraiya, Jiraiya, Jiraiya... You think I'd find a way to turn you back after all the torture you put me through? Calling me flat chested, making annoying comments... women everywhere suffered because of your perverted novels you gave to their husbands and boyfriends, and now that you turned into a woman... well... It's like revenge..." Said Tsunade, cackling evilly.

"YOU BITCH! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! THERE'S BARELY ANY LESBIAN WOMEN IN KONOHA! I'LL HAVE TO TURN GAY IF I STAY A WOMAN, OR DIE SINGLE!" Exclaimed Jiraiya.

"What do you care? You're 54..." Said Tsunade.

"So are you..." Said Jiraiya, Tsunade glared.

"GET OUT OF MY OFFICE! OUT! OUT!"

End of Chapter

Not even the great Tsunade will help our poor, now female, heroes. What will they do? Who will they turn to! Who knows? Please Review!

P.S. Sorry if my punctuation stinks in this chapter, something's wrong with my Document manager...


	8. The Sunlight of our Youth!

I felt like updating this story again so... Anyways, here's answers to your reviews.

Chapter 8- The Sunlight of our Youth!

SLAM!

Hinata, Tenten, and Ino stared at the cracked table Sakura had created. Apparently, their teams went on missions and wouldn't be back, well, according to Iruka's 'Sister'.

"HOW COULD THEY JUST DITCH ME LIKE THIS!" Shrieked Sakura.

"C-Calm down Sakura..." Said Hinata, looking at the girl who's inner self was 90 in control...

"Sakura, you're not the only one pissed, just listen to Hinata and chill, my team ditched me too! Even after all those times I put up with Gai's lectures of youth... and... After I put up with Lee's annoyance... AND AFTER ALL THOSE TIMES I GOT SENT TO THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID SIXTY FOUR HANDS OFF HAKKE AND-" Tenten speech that was originally supposed to calm Sakura, slowly trailed off into her own anger.

"SHUT IT!" Shrieked Ino, Tenten and Sakura glared at her.

"HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO SHUT UP! OUR STUPID TEAMMATES -Excluding Sasuke Kun cause he's not stupid- DITCHED US!" Shrieked Sakura.

"I know exactly what they're thinking, they're thinking I'm not good enough, they think I'm a loser, THEY THINK I'M JUST SOME WEAK CHUMP! THEY THINK-" Started Tenten.

"Calm down, what're we supposed to do? Nothing. We can't force them to come back." Said Ino. "Besides, getting away from my teammates is exactly what I need..."

"Yeah, you're right..." Said Tenten, getting brief flashbacks of Gai's Lectures of Youth, Lee's mimicking, and Neji's constant blabbering of the Main House. Tenten sighed. Sometimes, she believed she was the only sane one on her team...

"Sigh, I just want to know how Sasuke Kun's doing..." Said Sakura, looking out the window.

Kakashi's House-

"I'm not doing well..." Said Sasuke, eyebrow twitching.

"Okay guys, we have to be prepared, if Jiraiya comes back with bad news, then we better have good news..." Said Kakashi.

"Good news? Good news! IF I GET SLAPPED ON THE ASS ONE MORE TIME THERE'LL BE BLOODY NEWS!" Shouted Kiba, still tweaked about the whole 'Gay Lord' experience.

"I'm saying maybe there's a way to disguise ourselves." Said Kakashi.

"Yeah, maybe if I look like my Sexy No Jutsu version, I could use Sexy No Jutsu again and turn into my regular self..." Said Naruto.

"_Sexy_ no Jutsu? Doubt it would work Naruto..." Snorted Kiba.

"OH SHUT UP!" Snapped Naruto.

"Maybe we could use henge!" Said Chouji.

"For the rest of our lives?" Asked Shikamaru.

"Just until we find a way out..." Said Chouji.

"Which could be days, which could be a lot of chakra loss, and which could mean if we ever find a way out, we won't have enough chakra to turn back..." Said Shikamaru.

"Look, since there's no way out, we have to get some basics down, starting now, you have to act like women." Said Asuma.

"Exactly how do you propose that we do that?" Asked Kankurou, scratching his arm.

"You can start by not scratching yourself..." Said Asuma, giving Kankurou a look.

"How about we avoid contact by all means necessary...?" Asked Gaara.

"Do you ever want to find a way back?" Asked Kakashi.

"Since we are now different flowers, we must get used to this new experience! We must go out on limb and test our new youth!" Exclaimed Gai.

"...Huh?" Wondered everyone excluding Gai and Lee.

"Since we are in different bodies, we have to get used to them, we have to train ourselves so we know our limits to what we can and can not do." Translated Lee.

"Ohhh..." Everyone said in unison.

_Weirdoes..._ Thought Gai and Lee.

"What limits?" Asked Neji.

"Well, my new body might not be able to smoke as much as my other body..." Said Asuma, putting out a cigarette. He then thought for a moment. "Or it could smoke more..." And he lit another cigarette.

"We may become faster walkers in these bodies, or we might pass out to alcohol faster. The foods we used to like might not taste as good anymore..." Said Kakashi. Chouji and Naruto gasped in unison.

"B-But I can't live without my BBQ!"

"B-But I can't live without my Ramen!"

"Well... I'm just saying..." Said Kakashi.

"I doubt Naruto will ever come off Ramen..." Said Iruka.

"Exactly!" Agreed Naruto.

"The flowers we once were have now taken a new sunlight! Our strength we once were nurtured to might have left us! We must test this new sunlight!" Exclaimed Gai.

"...Huh?" Wondered everyone excluding Gai and Lee.

"We turned to a new point of view, our normal body strength maybe different now. We should test out our new point of view's strength." Translated Lee.

"Ohhh..." Everyone said in unison. Gai and Lee sighed.

"Well, let's go test them out..." Said Neji.

End of Chapter

The girls are furious, the guy/girls are ready to test their new strength. Are they stronger, or are they worse? Please Review!


	9. Oh Shit

RLN: Now that I finished Stranded with Idiots, I have less on my back and I can update this story faster. Yay!

Chapter 9- Oh Shit...

The girls/guys were at the training grounds where Lee, Gai, Neji and Tenten usually trained at. Sasuke started out with his speed.

_Hmm... my speed is the same... _He thought then he focused his chakra and ran up a tree.

_Hmm... my chakra control is the same..._ He thought. He jumped down the tree and threw a kunai at a target.

_Hmm... my aim is the same..._ He thought, he then ran forward and punched a tree.

CRACK!

_...Ouch..._ He thought. Suddenly he heard screaming, he looked at his feet and saw a shadow getting bigger and bigger. Sasuke jumped back and Naruto fell on his/her ass.

"OW!" Shouted Naruto. Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him.

"Chakra control?" Asked Sasuke.

"No, Kiba..." Answered Naruto, pointing at Kiba who was on a tree branch.

"What did I do?" Asked Kiba.

"YOU TRIPPED ME!" Snapped Naruto.

"I didn't _trip _you, my foot just happened to be on the path you were walking on..." Said Kiba. Naruto glared, Kiba returned it.

_Everything's normal for me except my strength. My new body has weak muscles... could this getting any worse? _Thought Sasuke angrily as he looked at his bleeding knuckles.

"I'm faster then usual but my strength sucks..." Muttered Neji, looking at _his _bleeding knuckles.

"Alright, is everyone done?" Asked Asuma.

"Yep!" Said Shikamaru quickly.

"What are you talking about? You didn't do a thing!" Said Kankurou.

"Shut up..." Shikamaru hissed in the corner of his mouth.

"Shikamaru, you have to test your speed..." Said Asuma. Shikamaru's shoulders slumped. "And you strength..." Shikamaru's head drooped. "And your aim..."

_Great, I have to do everything that includes running around... _Thought Shikamaru lazily.

"Eh? Who are you guys?" Asked a voice. Everyone hesitated before turning around. Standing there was Tenten.

"These are training grounds, not party grounds..." Said Tenten, she looked disgusted.

_Ew... are they hookers or something? _Wondered Tenten, she then noticed Shikamaru. _Oh, they are..._

"Uhm..." All the guys/girls said in unison, looking at each other.

"We uh..." Started Kankurou.

"?" Tenten raised an eyebrow.

"Uh..." Continued Kankurou.

"Just spit it out." Said Tenten.

"We-" Started Kankurou.

"Are big fans of yours!" Said Naruto, everyone turned to stare at him.

_Oh yeah, like that's going to work..._ Everyone thought, they then turned to Tenten, and to their suprise, Tenten was grinning widely. _Oh my god, it worked..._

"Really? So you wanted to meet me right?" Said Tenten.

_She's flattering herself... _Neji thought.

"Actually, we were just training!" Said Naruto truthfully.

"Oh, so you could become strong like me right?" Said Tenten.

"Uh... hehe... yeah!" Lied Chouji.

"I could show you some really cool tricks!" Said Tenten.

_Oh shit... _Thought the guys/girls in unison.

"Or we could hang out!"

_OH SHIT! _

"Er... I don't think..." Started Sasuke.

"Both my friends and I have a lot of free time since are loser teammates left..." Said Tenten.

_LOSER TEAMMATES!_ Everyone thought in unison excluding Gai, Kakashi, and Asuma, since they were the teachers.

"And our freaky teachers..." Added Tenten.

_FREAKY TEACHERS! WE'RE NOT FREAKY!_ Asuma, Kakashi and Gai thought in unison. (RLN: Yeah... rrright...)

"I don't think we could-" Started Naruto.

"Oh come on! It'll be fun!" Chirped Tenten.

"Uhm... We'll be going now..." Asuma said, and the three teachers ran off.

_TRAITORS! _The guys/girls thought in unison.

"So... what are you names?" Asked Tenten.

"Er... I'm Naruko..." Said Naruto nervously.

"Uhm... Keiko..." Kankurou said.

"Shikako..." Shikamaru said slowly, hoping Tenten didn't remember him from Ichiriaki.

"Cho..." Said Chouji.

"Lita..." Answered Lee.

"I'm Kina and this is Sumi..." Said Kiba, pointing at Shino.

"Nami..." Neji said bluntly.

"Sachi..." Sasuke muttered.

"Yaara..." Said Gaara.

"My friend Temari has a really big house and me any my other friends Hinata, Ino, and Sakura were going to have a sleepover there. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you guys come since she's really lonely most of the time." Said Tenten. All the guys/girls knew that they were only being invited because they were Tenten's "Fans".

"I don't think we could possibly-" Started Neji.

"Oh come on! My friends are always complaining about being so lonely!" Said Tenten, urging them to come.

"...Oh fine..." Half of them muttered. Tenten gave them Temari's adress and the time of the sleepover. When Tenten left, the guys sighed.

"What did we just do?" Asked Lee.

End of Chapter

RLN: HAHAHA! I'M SO EVIL! PLEASE REVIEW!


	10. Girl Games and Chick Flicks

RLN: Here's a nice chapter.

Chapter 10- Girl Games and Chick Flicks!

The guy/girls made it to Temari's house.

"I can't believe we're doing this..." Said Neji.

"Like we have a choice, your teammate pratically _forced _us to come." Snapped Kiba.

"Alright... let's go..." Said Shikamaru, he took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. Temari answered the door.

"Oh! Come in!" Said Temari, they did as told. They heard giggling from another room. The guy/girls looked at each other in unison before entering the room. When they entered the room, a movie was playing.

_Chick flicks... _Was the first thing that entered the guy's minds.

"Oh hey! You guys are..." Started Sakura.

"Nami..." Said Neji.

"Sachi..." Said Sasuke.

"I'm Naruko." Said Naruto.

"Kina and this is Sumi." Said Kiba, introducing both him and Shino, since Shino doesn't talk.

"Keiko." Said Kankurou, yawning.

"Shikako..." Said Shikamaru nervously, hoping Ino didn't recognize him from the Ramen shop.

"Lita!" Said Lee, who was probally the ONLY one to TRY and act enthusiastic.

"Cho..." Chouji introduced nervously.

"...Yaara..." Said Gaara.

"Yaara? Haha, sorry, thought you said my brother's name for a second." Said Temari.

"..." _It _had _to rhyme._

"We're watching a movie! Come over!" Said Tenten. The guys looked at each other in unison before walking over.

An Hour and a half later-

"Aw... this movie is so good!" Cried Sakura. All the girls were crying but the guys were almost fell asleep halfway through the movie.

"What the... Cho, did you eat all the popcorn?" Asked Sakura.

"No." Chouji lied.

"Okay, forget the movie, let's doing something fun!" Said Temari.

"L-Like what?" Asked Hinata.

"Uhm..." Thought Ino, thinking. "Oh! How about rate the guy!"

"Rate the guy?" Asked all the guy/girls, looking at each other in unison before speaking.

"Oh... You probaly never played before!" Said Tenten.

"It's easy, all we do is pick a guy and rate him one to ten, ten being the best, one being the lowest. It's easy. But since you might not know the people we know as much, you can just say 'pass'." Said Sakura.

All the guy/girls looked at each other in unison with a look on their faces.

"W-Who should go first?" Asked Hinata.

"I'll go first! Let's rate..." Said Ino, she then stopped to think. "Kiba."

Kiba covered his mouth as he grinned.

_I'm probaly going to be rated above the rest of the guys..._

"He's sorta cute, so I'll give him a... 7 or 6..." Said Ino.

"Ew!" Tenten and Temari said in unison, which caused Kiba to glare at them.

"Oh come on! He's not _that _bad... I agree with Ino, but he is sort of annoying, so I'll give him a 6." Said Sakura.

"I give him a zero." Shino blurted out. Kiba glared at him.

"Haha, what about the rest of you?" Asked Temari.

"Zero..." They said in unison, excluding Kiba. Kiba fought back a death glare.

"Who should we rate next?" Asked Sakura.

"How about Naruto? I think 8! He's totally cute!" Said Naruto. All the girls (Except Hinata) started saying things like 'gross' or 'disgusting.'

"EW! Totally zero!" Said Ino.

"Hmm... I'd give him a zero, but if he can stop Neji from being a total freak about the Hyuuga family thing then I'd give him a 3." Said Tenten. Neji frowned.

"Yeah, ever since Gaara fought against him, Gaara's acting a little better, I'll rate him a 5." Said Temari.

"A 6 or 7, I mean, he is nice, but he keeps talking! It gets on my nerves after awhile..." Said Sakura truthfully. Everyone's eyes landed on Hinata which caused her to blush.

"Uhm...N-Nine?" She mumbled. All the guy/girls was shocked, especially Naruto.

"_Nine_? Dang..." Said Temari. Naruto was blushing.

"Okay! We should rate Sasuke next! I say 10! Totally hot and smart and strong!" Said Ino.

"Totally jerky, totally freaky, totally needs to die..." Muttered Naruto. Sasuke elbowed him hard.

"I don't know him that well, but he is sort of cute, I'll give him a 6..." Said Tenten.

"7, I fought against him before, he was good." Said Temari.

"I don't know him that well..." Hinata said truthfully.

"8..." Said Sakura. Everyone's heads shot towards Sakura's direction.

"Eight!" Everyone said/shouted in unison.

"Geez, I thought you'd give 'em a 10..." Said Tenten.

"He can be a total jerk sometimes! I mean no one is perfect but seriously! He can be really cold sometimes!" Said Sakura angrily.

"You treat Naruto the same way..." Tenten said.

"You're right but I_ try _to be nice to him, I really do! I even paid for his ramen last week, Sasuke doesn't even _try_ to be nice to _anyone_..." Said Sakura.

"I'm not that bad..." Sasuke mumbled. All the guy/girls looked away.

"Who else is there?" Wondered Temari.

"How about Neji! He's kind of cute!" Said Sakura.

"He's my cousin..." Said Hinata, prefering not to rate him.

"Yeah, I'd give him a 7..." Said Ino.

"Haha, everyone knows Tenten has a crush on Neji!" Laughed Sakura.

"What? No I don't!" Defended Tenten.

"Then why are you blushing?" Asked Temari.

"I'm not blushing! What makes you think I like Neji?" said Tenten, even though she WAS blushing.

"Well you're ALWAYS complimenting him and training with him..." Said Ino.

"What! That's the stupidest thing I ever heard! Can't someone train without being intimate with someone?" Asked Tenten.

"No." Everyone said in unison, which caused Neji and Tenten to glare at everyone.

"Well then that makes Temari like Shikamaru, since she DID fight against him..." Said Tenten.

"Not true!" Said Temari.

"Tch... how troublesome..." Muttered Shikamaru under his breath.

"I'd give Shikamaru a five, He's really smart, but his laziness draws him back..." Said Sakura.

"4, I hate him, he's a jerk..." Said Temari.

"You only say that because you lost to him. You're like rivals with him or something..." Said Tenten.

"CoughNejiLoverCough!" Coughed Temari.

"Shut up!" Snapped Tenten.

"I don't really know him either..." Said Hinata.

"I might regret this but I'm going to say 8..." Said Ino. Everyone stared at Ino.

"You know we were rating SHIKAMARU right?" Asked Sakura.

"Shikamaru may be lazy but he's not that bad. You can tell he's a really great friend by how well he and Chouji get along. And to become chuunin before Sasuke Kun and the Hyuuga prodigy... you can't be that bad..." Said Ino truthfully. "But... SOMETIMES I WANT TO KILL HIM!"

Everyone stared at Ino.

"Okay..." They said slowly, then Tenten looked at Shikamaru, which caused everyone to look at Shikamaru.

"...You... well... how should I put this..." Started Tenten.

"Shikamaru's 'hooker'." Said Ino, making the qoutation marks. Everyone stared confused at Shikamaru except Naruto, Tenten, Ino and Chouji.

"Well I..." Started Shikamaru.

_Ding Dong!_

"Oh! Must be the pizza guy!" Said Temari. Shikamaru gave a small sigh of relief as pratically all the girls (Not guy/girls) left.

_Saved by the pizza man... _Thought Shikamaru.

End of Chapter

RLN: Okay, IHN and I just read the 253 chapter of Naruto, and we are impressed. Why? Because Lee is incredibly adorable, Tenten looks like a tomboy and Neji is hot. I mean just look! Doesn't Lee look more adorable with his vest? And Tenten just has the whole tomboy look with her cool baggy pants... except her shoes, me and IHN would prefer if she had her sandals because tomboys are cool and those shoes don't scream tomboy, but her pants rock. And Neji... Masashi Kishimoto got creative with Neji... Neji's hair is different, and it makes him HOT! IHN and I were drooling over him for like... ten whole minutes. But unfortunaly, Neji belongs to Tenten and we can't have him, but that's okay because me and IHN agreed, that out of all the characters, Gai is the hottest. You can take your cool Tenten and hot Neji and cutie Lee but we're sticking with the Sexy Green Beast of Konoha, Gai.

IHN: And Neji and Tenten seem closer too! Or... is it just me? Because Neji and Tenten were talking to each other about how idiotic Gai and Lee were talking about getting to the Sand village in half a day AND they were standing next to each other. Maybe it's just my NejiTen fan side talking to me.

Anyways, sorry if this chapter ended stupidly, humor will be coming soon. Please review!


	11. Stars

RLN: RLN HAS RETURNED!

Readers: DIE!

RLN: OKAY OKAY! I know I deserve that, but you shouldn't kill me!

Readers: Why not? You took FOREVER to update.

RLN: I have an excuse. In case you didn't know, my computer broke. I can't get on the internet or anything, otherwise it'll freeze. So my dad took my computer out of my room and is fixing it. I'm typed this chapter on my dad's computer, but look on the bright side! I'm on my summer vacation, so I'm going to be updating a lot! Also, I'm going to try to finish all my current stories by the end of the summer.

Kiba: Whoa, whoa… let me get this straight, this means you're going to torture us for the whole summer?

RLN: Yep.

Naruto: And you're going to humiliate us through the whole summer.

RLN: Uh huh.

(Long silence)

Chouji: I don't like the sound of this.

Shikamaru: Sounds troublesome…

RLN: I'm writing this on Word, so there's a downside and an upside. The upside is there will be either less or none grammar and spelling errors. The downside is that it's going to be really annoying to keep telling the computer that Sasuke isn't 'sauce' or Naruto isn't 'Narrator' or Gai isn't 'Gay'… err… at least…. I hope not. Sometimes I hate spell check…

**Chapter 11- Stars?**

While the she males (AKA Guy/Girls) were at the slumber party, Asuma, Kakashi and Gai were having their own problems. See, shortly after ditching their former students, the three teachers bumped into Anko and Kurenai. Funny coincidence, huh? Anko and Kurenai, who have never seen the girls in their entire lives, began questioning them.

"How come we've never seen you three before?" asked Anko.

"I-I'm pretty positive you've seen us!" said Kakashi.

"What are your names?" asked Kurenai, raising an eyebrow.

"W-Well I'm K-Kasaki, the girl with the blue hair is Asaki, and the girl in green is Mai," introduced Kakashi.

"Hi!" said Gai, Asuma elbowed him. The girls still didn't trust them.

"Are you from Konoha?"

"Uh… no! We're not!" said Asuma quickly.

"What are you doing here?" asked Anko.

"My… husband lives here!" said Kakashi, without thinking. The two girls then starting asking a million questions.

"What's his name?"

"What's his last name?"

"What's his ninja rank?"

"What's his favorite color?"

"When's his birthday?"

"What's his GPA?" asked Anko.

_Oh boy… _Thought the she male teachers. (RLN: I decided to get back at them for ditching the guys)

(Back to the Slumber Party)

The guy/girls were astonished. After years of thinking their former teammates were nothing but girly girls who cared about keeping themselves clean and beautiful, they finally realized how wrong they were… well, about the keeping clean thing anyways. Even Chouji gaped at the sight of the girls as they ate- no, DESTROYED the pizzas.

"Aren't you guys hungry?" asked Ino, when she realized none of the guy/girls were eating.

"I just lost my appetite…" said Kiba. Ino just shrugged.

"What do you guys want to do after this?" asked Temari.

"I don't know. Should we get another movie?" asked Tenten.

"No!" said all the guy/girls in unison. Everybody stared at them.

"Err… I mean… we just watched a movie," coughed Neji.

"She's got a point," said Sakura.

_Good, no more chick flicks. _Thought all the guys in unison.

"Oh, you know where we should go?" exclaimed Ino suddenly.

"Where?" asked everybody in unison.

"We should go to the bathhouse later. I _so _need to relax," said Ino. Naruto and the others all looked at each other in unison. Their looks said the same thing: Uh oh.

"Uhm…," started Kiba.

"What is it?" asked Temari.

"We… can't…," said Naruto.

"Why not?" asked Sakura.

"Because… because… we just ate! We'll get cramps!" said Lee.

"You got a point, so let's go later," said Ino.

"But the place closes at midnight and it's almost eleven," said Sasuke quickly.

"That's no problem!" said Ino.

"What? Are we going to sneak in?" said Temari, rolling her eyes.

"No, my uncle owns that place," said Ino.

"He does?" everyone said in unison.

"Yeah, remember? The old owner moved to the Mist?" said Ino, trying to refresh her friends' memories.

"Oh yeah! That's right!" said Sakura.

"Idon'thaveabathingsuit!" said Lee quickly.

"It's a bathhouse… we can just wear towels…," said Temari.

"Besides, it's not like there's a bunch of guys going to spy on us!" exclaimed Ino.

"UHM…," said all the guy/girls in unison.

"Is something wrong?" asked Hinata.

"I can't swim," said Gaara quickly.

"Have you ever been to a bathhouse? At the edge of the pools' outside, there are places where you sit. Besides, we're just relaxing," said Tenten.

"Strange, my little brother Gaara can't swim either…" said Temari. All the guy/girls turned around to stare at Gaara.

"Not… a word…" said Gaara through clenched teeth, so only the she males could hear.

Suddenly, Tenten's face became shocked. "Oh my god…"

"What?" everyone asked in unison.

"M…Maybe it's just a coincidence," Tenten stuttered.

"Tenten, what's wrong?" asked Hinata, clearly worried. Tenten then whipped her head in the guy/girls' general direction.

"Why didn't I notice it before? It's so obvious!" exclaimed Tenten, the guy/girls were beginning to tense. Did Tenten find out? "I mean, the name! Yaara?"

"I told you the names were lame," Shikamaru muttered though the corner of his mouth.

"You're the one who came up with them!" Naruto hissed under his breath. Shikamaru grinned sheepishly.

"Oh yeah…" He said.

"And… and… you don't want to go to the bathhouse because… because…" Tenten trailed off. "And how come you guys were all together, and there's EXACTLY 10 of you…"

Tenten gasped dramatically and pointed at them.

"You're… you're…"

"Look, Tenten, we can explain this! There was a fortune teller and-" Lee was cut off when Tenten gave a high-pitched girly scream.

"Tenten, what's wrong?" asked Ino, clearly scared and worried.

"OH MY GOD! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?" Screamed Tenten. "I can't believe it!"

"Tenten… you're starting to freak me out…," said Temari.

"YOU GUYS COULDN'T TELL WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE?" said Tenten.

"Uhm, no?" said Sakura.

"THEY'RE THAT ACTRESSES FROM THE CHICK FLICK WE JUST SAW!" screamed Tenten.

Silence filled the entire room.

"You got us!" said Kiba and Naruto in unison.

"OH MY GOD!" shrieked all the girls in unison.

"Uh… how did you find out?" asked Neji, not sure what to say.

"It was SO obvious. Yaara is really Tomiko, who played as Kiko in the movie. Tomiko, you picked the name Yaara because that's your sister's name! I'm like, you're BIGGEST fan. I read all these biographies on you. You came from the sand so you never learned how to swim!" exclaimed Tenten.

_Partially true… _Thought Gaara.

"You guys probably can't go in public places, which is why you kept rejecting to go to the bathhouse, I also knew because there were EXACTLY 10 girls in the movie. I didn't know you guys stayed friends!" said Tenten.

"Well, duh, it was their recent movie…" said Ino.

"Uh, well now that that is out in the open, how about we play a game or something?" asked Kiba.

"I haven't played truth or dare in _forever_! Let's play that!" said Temari.

"Okay, you can go first since you suggested it," said Sakura.

"Should I get a bottle?" asked Hinata.

"Go ahead, there should be one in the kitchen," said Temari. Hinata left but shortly came back with a bottle.

"Okay!" said Temari, spinning the bottle. The bottle began to slowly spin until it stopped on…

"Sakura! Truth or dare?" asked Temari.

"Uh… dare," said Sakura.

"Hmm… I dare you to…" Temari started thinking. "Oh! I dare you to strip butt-naked and run around the neighborhood!'

"WHAT!" Shrieked Sakura and half the guy/girls.

"Ha-ha, have fun forehead girl!" said Ino. Sakura glared.

"Hey, you're the one who picked dare!" said Temari, crossing her arms.

"She's got a point…" said Tenten.

"Okay, okay, fine. But we speak of this to no one!" said Sakura. And thus began the game of truth or dare… and some massive nosebleeds.

End of Chapter

RLN: Sorry for the short chapter. I'll update soon. Bye!

P.S. My older sister is going to be on ff dot net. Her pen name is RANinjaChick. Watch out for some of her stories!


	12. Am I Gay?

RLN: I have officially decided that I am hated by all of you. Why? Because I have not updated this story since…

(Checks)

06-24-05

Wow. That's like… what? FIVE MONTHS AGO? Yeah. Well. At least I'm updating, right? …Right?

Oh, and don't jump to conclusions about the chapter title.

**Chapter 12- Am I Gay?**

The boys (or she males if you would prefer) had officially decided that the girls were scary and weird. When you first think of girls, you are most likely to think sophisticated, polite, cute, and nice (With the exception of Shikamaru who think women are scary, rude, ugly, evil and troublesome brats) but their teammates… well, they were just weird. Really weird. And it took a game of truth or dare for them to figure that out. Not only did they come up with the weirdest/scariest dares (They made Temari eat at least thirty packets of hot sauce) they usually ended up PICKING dare. With the exception of Hinata, who wasn't bold enough to do the crazy and wild things.

However, although all of them were intrigued by the (freakishly) crazy behavior of their female comrades, that didn't amaze them enough to stop having fun and get in the game. With the exception of Gaara, Shino, Sasuke, Shikamaru and Neji but… really, what did you expect? However, even they enjoyed (silently) laughing at the others make complete fools out of themselves.

So all in all, it was a fun night, despite the fact that when Naruto was dared to sing and dance to Endless Love and nearly twisted his ankles when he tripped over the microphone cord.

So now, they all went to sleep and got up in the morning and met up together at Kakashi's house once again.

"Okay, after yesterday, being questioned by Kurenai and Anko, we have decided that we are going to find a way out of this as soon as possible," said Kakashi. "No matter how hot I look."

Everyone either sweatdropped or rolled their eyes.

"How exactly we are going to find a way out of this, I ask," said Neji.

"We don't know," Gai admitted. Everyone sweatdropped at his comment.

"But we promise, we will find a way out of this," said Asuma, puffing out a cloud of smoke.

"Until then, stick together. AT ALL TIMES," said Gai. The adults then left.

It was quiet for a moment.

"I'm hungry," Naruto concluded, he headed off to the kitchen, and nobody seemed to care.

"ARGH!" screamed Naruto, everybody, alarmed, ran into the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" asked Kankurou quickly.

"Are you bleeding?" asked Sasuke.

"Are you suffocating?" asked Kiba.

"Are you choking?" asked Chouji.

"Are you DEAD?" asked Lee. Everyone stared at him for going overboard.

"THERE'S NO FREAKING FOOD!" screamed Naruto. Sasuke threw his high heel at Naruto's head. (RLN: Never thought I'd say (type) that…)

"OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?"

"FOR BEING A DUMBASS!" yelled Sasuke. "WE THOUGHT YOU GOT HURT! DON'T SCREAM UNLESS IT'S IMPORTANT!"

"Yeah, well, you didn't have to throw your shoe at my head," muttered Naruto, rubbing the spot where the shoe had hit.

"If my body wasn't so freaking weak, I'd punch you," said Kiba.

"And if my body wasn't so freaking weak, I'd kill you," said Naruto, glaring at Kiba. Kiba glared back.

"Guys, with the situation we're in, arguing isn't the exactly the most intelligent thing to do," said Shikamaru with a sigh.

"THEN TELL THEM TO STOP PICKING ON ME!" yelled Naruto.

"You had it coming," snorted Sasuke.

"Well, aren't we a big asshole?" asked Naruto bitterly.

"GUYS! Didn't you listen to a word I said?" asked Shikamaru.

"No," everyone said. Shikamaru sighed heavily.

"Look, this is no time to fight. We need to stick together. I don't want us fighting when we have to rely on each other for help, do not mess this up by being immature and troublesome," said Shikamaru.

"Well, he's the genius," Naruto muttered, although it was clear that he was still pissed off. He threw the shoe back at Sasuke who, to his anger, caught it perfectly.

"Alright, now what?" asked Chouji, who plopped onto a couch.

"Well, I'm hungry," said Naruto.

"We know," everyone said in unison, with a tone that said they didn't care.

"Well, can we get something to eat? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?" said Naruto.

"Actually, I'm hungry too," said Chouji, sitting up straight.

"You're always hungry," Kankurou said. Chouji glared at him, but Kankurou didn't care what Chouji thought about him.

"Well, I guess we could go to a restaurant or something, since there's no food here. I'm getting hungry myself," said Kiba.

"I really don't feel like bringing attention to myself," said Neji.

"Well, you guys… I mean, girls, can stay here," said Chouji.

"Alright, let's go!" said Naruto, about to run off, but Sasuke grabbed his pigtail and pulled him back. (RLN: Never thought I'd say (type) that either)

"That really hurt Sasuke Bastard!" whined Naruto.

"If I had a heart, I'd care. But thank god I don't," said Sasuke. He then continued, "You idiots aren't going there by yourselves. We have to send someone intelligent with you."

"I'll go!" said Lee.

"He said someone intelligent," said Neji, glaring at Lee. Lee's shoulders slumped because of Neji's being-a-bully-ness.

Everyone was quiet and nobody volunteered. Only the sounds of Naruto, Kiba and Chouji's stomachs grumbling were heard.

After an intense game of rock, paper, scissors, they determined that Shino would be looking over them.

Shino didn't say anything as usual.

And if he _was_ a talkative person he still wouldn't have talked because he'd be too shocked.

"FINALLY, NOW LET'S GO!" screamed Naruto. Naruto, Chouji and Kiba ran out the door, down the block, but stopped when they realized Shino was nowhere in sight.

"Eh? Where is he—"Chouji then corrected himself, "—She?"

They all looked around and then saw Shino, just stepping out of the door. They're jaws dropped.

"STOP MOVING SO SLOWLY!" screamed Naruto. Shino said nothing as usual and the three had to wait for what seemed like forever for Shino to get his butt over there.

But even when he caught up, the three boys… I mean girls, were still impatient and ended up getting too far ahead and then having to stop to let Shino catch up.

"Where are we going?" asked Shino, when they stepped into the part of Konoha where there were many restaurants.

"Let's go to the BBQ restaurant!" exclaimed Chouji.

"No! Let's go to that ramen place!" said Naruto, half whining.

"That fast food place looks okay," said Kiba, pointing at a restaurant.

Shino looked at all the restaurants and decided that only a person who wanted a heart attack would go to those three restaurants. So he told them that they shouldn't go there in the best words he could find.

"No."

Did I say words? I meant word.

"Why not?" asked Chouji.

"…"

So in the end, nobody could argue with Shino (because he didn't give them anything to argue _with_) so they ended up going to a restaurant that had healthy, nice food. Or in Chouji's words: tasteless and boring food.

After a while of waiting, a waiter wouldn't come so Shino got up to ask for one.

"Okay guys, even though he probably wouldn't care, I didn't want to say this in front of Shino," said Kiba, leaning over and whispering to Naruto and Chouji, although it was unnecessary. "This restaurant sucks."

"Der," said Naruto and Chouji in unison. (Translation for Der: Duh)

"Well, what can we do?" Chouji added.

"I say, we ditch Shino," said Naruto.

"He's not stupid Naruto, he'll know we'll be gone and he _will_ find us," said Kiba, glaring at Naruto for being ridiculous.

"Then I say we make Shino ditch us," said Naruto.

"That's dumb!" snapped Kiba.

"Actually," said Chouji, tapping his finger on his chin. "That might work."

"What?" Kiba asked, staring blankly at Chouji.

"Well," said Chouji. "We can't get away from Shino, so we have to get Shino away from us, right?"

"Yeah, but how are we going to do that?" asked Naruto.

"How about we go to another restaurant and eat there whenever Shino leaves and then come back here just in time for him to get back?" Kiba suggested. Naruto shook his head.

"That'd never work," said Naruto. "We'd never make it back and forth in time."

They sat there in silence, concentrating hard. Suddenly, Shino plopped into a seat that was next to Chouji's. He didn't bother to announce he was there, but Naruto, Chouji and Kiba knew he was there.

"Oh, hehe, hey Shino," said Naruto, laughing nervously.

"…"

"So, is the… erm… waiter coming?" asked Chouji, a nervous look on his face.

"They better."

There was an awkward silence, but Shino didn't care. He preferred silence over their pointless blabbering.

"Hey Shino," said Kiba. Shino just looked at him. Kiba continued, "I think you should remind our waiter to get our menus."

"He will bring our—"

"Just go check!" Chouji, Kiba and Naruto screamed at him in unison. Shino just sighed to himself and went.

"Okay," said Chouji. "Quickly now. What is the best way we can get Shino out of here?"

They all were thinking so hard their brains fried and the sprinkler above them went off because of the smoke from the malfunctioning brains.

Just kidding. But you get the idea. They were thinking real hard.

"This is pointless! It's not like an answer is going to come right out of the blue!" Kiba growled, throwing his hands up in frustration.

Just then and there, a man fell straight down from out of the blue and crashed on their table.

By nature; Naruto, Kiba and Chouji screamed in unison, and since they were females, they all screamed like girls, and since they were young, they didn't scream like adults. So in basic terms, Naruto, Kiba and Chouji all screamed like little girls in unison.

"Ugh," groaned the guy. The guy seemed only a bit older then the three Konoha ninja who were men that turned into females, where one of them was a fattie but turned skinny, one of them is loud and obnoxious and one comes from a clan obsessed with dogs. If you cannot guess who those three Konoha Ninja are, then this seriously displeases me and I pity you and your stupidity and I also wish you luck out in the tough world you will encounter, especially since your brain has functions.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Naruto snapped, pointing a finger at him.

"I'm sorry ma'am," said the guy politely, trying to sit up. When he did, all his weight was on one side of the table, so the table flipped over to its side and the guy fell on the floor.

"Man, and Ithought _I _was clumsy," muttered Chouji.

"Dude, need help?" asked Kiba, holding out a hand. The guy took it gratefully and Kiba helped him up. It was a bit hard though considering his female body was weak.

"You know, you really shouldn't just jump on tables," Naruto said, glaring at the guy.

"I'm sorry," the guy repeated, his head bowing in shame. "You probably won't believe this, but I didn't REALLY jump on the table. I was thrown onto the table."

"Thrown onto the table? Why?" asked Chouji.

"This guy did it," said the man with a sigh.

"What guy? Why is he just throwing guys all over the place?" said Naruto, sounding a bit pissed off. Naruto hated it when people got picked on.

"You don't understand," said the guy with a sigh. "I was going out with his girlfriend…"

"Oh," said Naruto. He then glared. He also hated people who cheated. "I don't feel so sorry for you anymore."

"No, no!" said the guy quickly waving his hands left and right. "You don't understand! I didn't know she had a boyfriend! She never told me!" he sighed. "And I was really beginning to like her. This was a really bad time to meet up with her boyfriend. My father's a successful businessman and I'm going to take over the business tomorrow and there was this big party tonight and everything and I don't have anybody to escort."

Before Kiba, Naruto and Chouji could have the moment to suck in the information and feel sorry for the guy, the said boyfriend came strolling up. Naruto, Kiba and Chouji noticed the large shadow and turned around and looked up. They all saw the largest and fattest guy they've ever seen. Yes. Even fatter and larger then Chouji was when he was a boy.

"Is anybody else disturbed about this guy's blubber problem?" asked Naruto in a whisper. The guy made himself taller then he was already. He didn't hear Naruto's insult.

"**NOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING?**" said the man. His talking voice was such a bellow, that if Naruto, Chouji and Kiba weren't girls; their hair never would blow backwards. The smaller and more innocent guy squeaked. "**NOW YOU'RE BOTHERING THESE LADIES, BENJIRO? HOW MORE REVOLTING CAN YOU GET?**"

"HEY FATTIE!" snapped Naruto, standing in front of the smaller man now known as Benjiro. Chouji fumed a bit on the word 'fattie' but recovered when he realized that this guy really _was_ a fattie and was _such_ a jerk he deserved _any_ insult he got thrown at him. "THIS GUY'S INNOCENT SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST TURN YOUR ASS AROUND AND GO AWAY OR I'LL FORCE YOU TO!"

"**SUCH STRONG WORDS COMING FROM SUCH A LITTLE GIRL,**" said (bellowed) the guy.

"**LITTLE GIRL?**" Naruto screamed as the same volume at the larger man. Naruto charged at the guy and was going to punch him but the man simply just put his hand (or finger) out and held Naruto's forehead, keeping Naruto arms length away from him. Naruto wasn't going to back down and continued charging forward, but only was wasting his energy.

The man laughed (bellowed) at Naruto. Suddenly, a flat black shoe was thrown at the guy's head.

Everyone turned and saw Shino, his face calm as usual.

"**YOU BRAT!**" the man screamed (the entire restaurant shook furiously).

"Then back off," said Shino simply. The tone in his voice blunt as usual.

"**I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE A WOMAN OR NOT! YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THEN ME?**" bellowed the man.

There was a short pause.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" asked Shino.

"**WHAT?**" the man shrieked.

"Yeah! You heard him—"Kiba corrected himself. "—I-I mean her! She's going to kick your sorry fat ass!"

"Kiba, I really don't think you should urge him to fight—"Shino was cut off.

"**IS THAT SO? WELL HERE WE GO THEN!**" said the man ignoring Shino, he threw a punch towards the ground, as if hoping to pound Shino flat.

Shino sighed and moved to the right, letting the man's fist crash into the ground.

"Kiba, you should know I'm not as _strong as I used to be_," said Shino, making sure the message was loud and clear.

"Oh yeah," said Kiba, he laughed nervously. Shino's female body wasn't as strong as his normal one. Kiba forgot that (obviously).

"Hehe, maybe we should help Shino?" said Naruto, laughing nervously.

"Or we could quietly slip away and hide like little sissies," said Chouji.

"I say we go for Chouji's plan," said Kiba, staring at the destruction the fat guy made with his fist.

Shino, who didn't seem to notice Chouji and Kiba's comments (and even if he did he wouldn't care) was avoiding all possible attacks thrown at him.

"Stop being cowards, I, for one, know a Hokage would NEVER run away! They would risk their lives to save their village and its citizens!" said Naruto.

"Being noble is overrated," snorted Chouji.

Naruto gave him a look.

"Fine," said Chouji. He sighed.

"Wait, what can we do, though?" asked Kiba.

"We're going to have to knock him out!" exclaimed Naruto.

"We know what to do, dumbass, I mean HOW are we going to?" asked Kiba. Naruto rubbed his chin.

"Hmm, that's a good question…" said Naruto.

"WHAT?" Kiba and Chouji screamed in unison. They hit Naruto's head.

"You idiot!" snapped Kiba. "How can you suggest something without having a plan? And for a second I thought you'd actually have a good idea! Man, I can't believe I was ready to take orders from you…"

"I'm GOING to become the FUTURE HOKAGE so you BETTER listen to me!" snapped Naruto.

"Nobody's going to be a future anything unless we help out Shino," said Chouji.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash. Chouji, Kiba and Naruto turned around and saw the fat guy had crashed all the way over on the other side of the restaurant. The three boys (or girls) looked at Shino, who was just standing there all Shino-ish.

"How did you…" started Naruto, but stopped. "You know what? I really DON'T want to know."

"Well," said Chouji. "This is awkward. Now what?"

"I say we go to another restaurant. A RAMEN restaurant," said Naruto.

"I'm not going to eat ramen," said Shino. "Why are you three so obsessed with fatty and salty foods?"

Naruto, Kiba and Chouji were then immediately reminded why they wanted to ditch Shino in the FIRST place.

"Uhm…" said a voice. They all looked at the guy named Benjiro who was rubbing the back of his neck and was smiling in a sheepish manner. "I'm sorry you four had to go through all that."

Suddenly, a light bulb popped above Naruto's head.

"Hey, you said you're going to this party, right?" said Naruto.

"Huh? Yeah, why?"

"Well, if you're desperate for a date—"

"No," said Shino. "I'm not supposed to let you out of my sight."

"Come on, we're not little kids, besides, you need a break!" said Naruto.

"Why do you want to go out with a—"

"Not me! You!" said Naruto. Shino didn't know how to respond to that, not like it mattered, because Kiba and Chouji quickly caught on to Naruto's idea.

"You should! Go!" said Chouji.

"I'm not going to—"

"You've NEVER went out with a guy before, right?"

"Of course I never went out with a guy but—"

"You're name's Benjiro right? Well this is Sumi, she's just nervous, so don't take no for an answer! Besides, you need a date right?" said Naruto.

"Well, that is true," said Benjiro beginning to sound convinced.

"You can do it as a favor for us helping you!" said Chouji.

"Helping him? I did all the work," said Shino.

"Why were you so eager to help him? Hmm?" said Kiba.

"I wasn't eager to do any—"

"GO!" Naruto, Chouji and Kiba said in unison.

"You know what? Just take him—"Kiba corrected himself. "—Her."

Chouji and Naruto pushed Shino towards Benjiro.

"I—"started Shino.

"It'll be quick, I'll bring her back here, okay?" said Benjiro.

"No problem!" said Naruto.

"Thanks!" said Benjiro. "I appreciate it!" He grabbed Shino's arm and dragged him (or her) along with him as he ran out the door.

Naruto, Chouji and Kiba were trying their very best not to burst out laughing.

(_Later_)

Shino was not pleased.

In fact, he was _dis_pleased.

VERY displeased.

Even Shino, who had such wonderful patience, could not contain his powerful urge not to fall asleep.

This Benjiro guy could talk for hours if he wanted to. He wouldn't shut up. On and on and on he would go. Talking about everything, fidgeting once in awhile. Always hesitant about what he said, when he should talk, and he'd ask Shino all these questions, as if he WANTED to know what Shino acted like.

"You know what?" said Benjiro. Even if Shino WANTED to respond, the guy just went on. "You're the best listener I've met. My girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend, NEVER listened to what I said. She said I talked way too much and was way too fidgety and always cared about what people thought of me. M-maybe I am fidgety though, am I fidgety? Do you think I'm fidgety? I really don't try to be! Do I talk too much? Wait, I'm being stupid! I'm using the word 'I' way too much! Maybe you should talk! Do you want to talk?"

"…"

"Uh… hehe, I'll take that as a 'no'," said Benjiro, nervously. He then went on and on about his father and the business he was taking over and blah and blah and blah, blah, blah.

"Here it is," said Benjiro. They stopped at his house, where the party was being thrown. If Shino was a normal person, he would've been greatly impressed by its size and quality.

"…"

But alas, Shino is Shino.

"Come on!" said Benjiro.

One walked in enthusiastically and the other just walked in UNenthusiastically. Guess which one was walking which way of walking. If you can understand my sentences first. (Enter evil laughter here)

"Alright, my dad's nosy, so try to ignore what he says, okay?" said Benjiro. If Shino was outgoing and a social person, he would've replied.

"…"

But he wasn't, apparently.

"Alright, let's go look—"

"BENJIRO!" cried a loud, deep voice. A short, wide man dressed in a tux came up to Benjiro and Shino.

"Oh, hey dad," said Benjiro. If Shino was a curious guy, he would've pondered on the thought of why Benjiro was so tall and skinny and his father was so short and wide.

But Shino wasn't the type of guy who wondered about those types of things.

"So… erm… where's—"

"We split up," said Benjiro, already knowing that his father was going to ask about his (ex) girlfriend.

"That's a shame," said his father, but he quickly recovered. "So who's this?"

"Sumi," Benjiro introduced.

"…" said Shino.

"Well, hello! I'm Benjiro's father, of course! So how'd you two meet?" asked the father, giving a hearty laugh.

"…" said Shino.

"Long story," said Benjiro with a sigh.

"…" said you-know-who. And no, it's not Lord Voldemort.

"Well, I guess it doesn't matter, you're here now!" laughed the guy.

And so the party went on. If Shino was gay and liked to go out on dates with boys, he would've enjoyed it. But Shino wasn't and so he most certainly did NOT enjoy it. No. He's really not gay, no matter how big of a Yaoi fangirl (or, god forbid, fanboy) you are. Which, by the way, may I remind you that this is a Hetero fic and why on earth you are here is beyond my information and mind, so I will not question it, but I _will _highly suggest you go to the search engine and look up 'Yaoi' or 'Shonen Ai' instead of reading Hetero fics which will never satisfy your hunger for boy on boy action, or, in this case, girl on girl. But if you wish to continue reading for clearly the humor then I will most certainly encourage you to continue reading, if I haven't offended or embarrassed you already.

Ahem. Back to the story.

And so the party went on. And on. And on. Like Benjiro's fidgety and nervous talking.

At the end, Benjiro made a speech. If Shino was emotional (or gay) he would've cried like everyone else. But he wasn't, so he didn't.

If Shino thought the speech was good, he would've clapped just like everyone else. But he wasn't impressed, so he didn't clap.

At the end, everyone was getting ready to go home, including Shino. But Benjiro kept on insisting that he walked Shino back to the restaurant where he would meet up with Naruto, Chouji and Kiba.

They were at the block where the restaurant was when Benjiro stopped, feeling as if he had to, Shino stopped as well.

"…?" said Shino.

"Uhm… I wanted to… er—"

"…"

"Thank you for helping me out," said Benjiro.

"…"

"And I…" Benjiro was beginning to go back to his old nervous and fidgety self. Shino was resisting the urge to tap his foot. Benjiro continued, "You really did help me out and I was wondering…"

"What?" said Shino, getting annoyed by all Benjiro's constant pausing.

"Can I… er… kiss you?"

There was a long silence.

"I don't think that's a good idea," said Shino.

"What?" said Benjiro, looking shocked.

"Don't get me wrong, but I didn't really want to be here in the first place," said Shino.

Benjiro then began stammering and tripping over his words, he was talking so quickly, that Shino was unable to understand what he was trying to do. Benjiro finally paused.

"Wait a second… I should've known. You were at a nice restaurant with THREE other women. They said you NEVER went out with a guy. It makes so much sense now…" Benjiro then pointed at Shino. "YOU'RE A LESBIAN!"

Shino didn't know how to respond. In a way, he was a lesbian, because he liked women and he was a girl, but on the other hand, he really WAS a guy which meant he can't be a lesbian. So Shino said the best words he could find.

"Kinda."

Did I say words? I meant word.

Benjiro sighed heavily. "I should've known, something always goes wrong with my relationships. Even though I have found your dark secret, I still highly appreciate you, and so I thank you once again."

Shino said the best thing he could.

"…"

Same old Shino.

"Good bye," said Benjiro with a sigh, and so he left.

And Shino? Well…

He just went home.

End of Chapter

RLN: This is a crucial chapter, believe it or not.

PLEASE REVIEW! And no flames for making me torture Shino, okay? It was strictly comical purposes, nothing else.

I think it's also fair to warn you that because of all my fics, I'm going to try to finish this story as soon as possible.


	13. The Mystical Transformation

RLN: Sorry for the wait guys!

No seriously. I'm really sorry. For some reason, I wrote this chapter at the pace of a decaying snail.

**Chapter 13- The Mystical Transformation**

"YOU WHAT?" screamed Sasuke.

"Err… we set Shino up on a date?" said Naruto nervously.

"YOU GUYS ARE—"Sasuke was cut off.

"GENIUSES!" Kankurou shouted, throwing his hands in the air. But then he rubbed his (her?) chin. "But why Shino?"

"Better yet, why NOT Shino?" said Kiba with a goofy smile on his face.

"Hmm…" said Kankurou thoughtfully. "Good question."

Sasuke slapped his forehead. "You guys are idiots."

"DUH!" said Naruto. "That's why we appear in two fics called _Stranded with Idiots _and _High School for Idiots_."

"Which, by the way, you're a total dick in," Kiba added, pointing at Sasuke.

"Oh yeah," said Sasuke, rolling his eyes. "I have complete free will in ALL fanfics," he continued. "You guys are a bunch of dork-wads. We sent Shino to keep an eye on you two, and we expected you to treat him the same way you treat us! And what do you do? You repay him by sending him on a date with a man!"

"But, Sasuke—"said Naruto in a whiny voice.

"DON'T YOU 'BUT SASUKE' ME!" snapped Sasuke, putting his fists on his waist. "GO TO YOUR ROOMS! ALL THREE OF YOU!"

Chouji, Kiba and Naruto looked down at the floor as they slowly walked up the stairs.

"That's right!" said Sasuke crossing his arms. "Single file! March right up there."

"Sasuke," said Neji. "Don't you think you're being a little harsh? I mean, their minds are only the size of a small child's."

"There's no mercy in parenting," said Sasuke.

There was a long silence.

"I'm the father, right?" said Neji. Sasuke stared at him awkwardly.

"Do you have any idea how weird it is when you say that in a woman's body?" said Sasuke.

"Well… Uhm…"

"And it's kind of weird when you say that to a person of the same sex," added Lee.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Kankurou laughed. Everyone stared at him. Kankurou stopped laughing. "He said sex. It was funny."

Everyone continued staring at him.

Silence filled the room for a long period of time. The room was so quiet you'd think there was a million Shinos in the room. It was silent for at least minute or two before…

"Idiot," said Gaara, glaring at Kankurou after the long silence.

"Anyways," said Shikamaru. "I think you guys should go look for Shino."

"'You guys'?" said Neji, making the little quote marks with his fingers; he then crossed his arms and glared at Shikamaru coldly. "What do you mean by that? You're coming with us, right?"

"No," said Shikamaru. Neji was a bit taken back that Shikamaru didn't hesitate or anything so he just hid his shock.

"Yeah, well, he would just slow us down anyways," said Sasuke. Shikamaru looked offended.

"Even though I know it's true, I am insulted!" said Shikamaru. "I'm going to come with you guys."

"Why?" whined Lee.

"To piss you off!" shouted Shikamaru. "I'm going to complain and whine and slow you guys down in any way possible!"

They stared blankly at him.

"Grab him," whispered Kankurou out of the corner of his mouth.

"Why?" Shino whispered back.

"So he won't slow us down," Lee explained with a scoff.

It was silent for a moment.

"SHINO!" everyone exclaimed, backing away from the… err… _former_ bug boy.

"…?" Shino raised an eyebrow quizzically.

"When did you get inside?" demanded Sasuke. "I didn't even hear you."

"Kiba, Chouji and Naruto left the door open," said Shino shrugging. "So I just walked in."

"I, for one, am not surprised," said Neji. "I can't even tell he's here even when he's standing right next to me—"when people stared at him, Neji quickly added"—But I sensed him the whole time anyways."

"Yeah, whatever," said Kankurou, rolling his eyes.

"I did," said Neji, his eyes narrowing.

"Sure, let's leave Neji and his little fantasies to himself," said Shikamaru, hoping to get off subject.

"I wasn't—"started Neji.

"Shut up," said Kankurou.

"But—"

"Shut up."

"See—"

"Shut up."

"But I—"

"Shutty utty up up," sang Kankurou. While Neji fumed and started muttering curses about the main house (who really had nothing to do with the matter but he did it anyways), Sasuke and Shikamaru started talking to Shino.

"So Uhm… how was the, uh…" said Sasuke awkwardly.

"Terrible," said Shino. "My first date was with a man."

"Oh," said Shikamaru and Sasuke in unison. An awkward silence filled the air.

"I'm sure you had at least _one_ date before that," said Shikamaru. Sasuke and Shino stared at him.

And did you notice that Shino, Shikamaru and Sasuke's names all start with S's? It's kind of ironic since those were the three I grouped together, but Kankurou is going to mess it all up and get in their conversation. Now it's going to be S, S, S, and K. Nice going Kankurou!

"So, how was your _date_?" said Kankurou smirking.

"…"

"Hey, Sasuke, can we have something to eat while we're on—hey, there's Shino!" said Chouji. Naruto and Kiba's heads stuck out of the door.

"HEY!" shouted Sasuke. "You three are on punishment!"

"But Sasuke—"they all whined.

"HEY!" snapped Sasuke. "What did I say? No more of your stupid whining! Do you WANT me to ground you?"

"No…" the three said in unison.

"Then get back in your room! And I better not hear that TV on! And no food!"

They stared at him.

"Okay, VEGETABLES, but that's it! I'm putting my foot down!"

Sasuke stomped to further his point. Naruto, Kiba and Chouji frowned and walked back into the room.

"You just HAD to ask, didn't you?" said Naruto.

"Shut up!" Chouji said angrily.

Sasuke then turned back to the others.

"Kids…" he said.

"Yeah, I know, Kankurou's a handful," said Gaara, rolling his eyes.

"Tell me about it," said Neji, glaring at Lee.

"… What?" said Lee and Kankurou in unison, totally oblivious.

"Anyways," said Neji, looking at Shino. "Nothing bad happened did it?"

"_Other_ then the fact I just dated a man?"

"Well… yeah, besides that."

"Uhm… it was terrible, I can't think of anything else to say. You have to appreciate girls for actually having to go out with guys like that. He was annoying as hell, he kept talking to me."

"That's because he was your _date_," said Shikamaru.

"…What's your point?"

The guys just sweatdropped and rolled their eyes.

"All I know; is that I don't want to talk, think or even remember it. From this point on, I'm going to erase it from my mind."

There was a silence.

"Is it gone yet?" asked Lee.

Shino slapped his forehead.

"I'm just going to go to sleep," said Shino as he headed back up the stairs.

"He's not going to sleep in HERE is he?" said Naruto, poking his head out the door.

"NARUTO!" growled Sasuke, his fist clenching.

"Oh, well, _sorry _mother_ dearest…_" growled Naruto, and his head poked back into his room.

Shino went into a bedroom that was far away from Naruto, Kiba and Chouji's punishment zone. And before he went to nap, he vowed he would kill the three if he ever got back into his normal body.

(_Kakashi, Gai, Iruka, Jiraiya and Asuma_)

"There has to be a way out of this," said Iruka, with a heavy sigh. The five adult teachers were in the Konoha library of scrolls.

"I know!" said Gai. "There has to be at least ONE guy who knew how to turn women into men!"

The sennin, chuunin and two jounin stared at Gai blankly.

"Who would WANT to do that?" asked Jiraiya.

"I don't know," said Gai quietly, looking a bit offended.

"Look," said Iruka with a sigh. "We just need to be more… optimistic! Yeah, that's it!"

"Well, we better be optimistic pretty fast," said Asuma. "I do NOT trust our students alone with no supervision."

"They're not little kids anymore Asuma," said Kakashi, looking up from a book. And no, it wasn't Make-Out paradise this time. "They can handle themselves maturely for awhile. What's the worst they could do?"

(_- - -_)

"So let me get this straight," said Gaara. "You put the bread… in the microwave to make toast… and the toast burned… and that's why everything smells like smoke?"

"Yeah, pretty much," said Kankurou nodding. Gaara bitch slapped him.

(_- - -_)

"Yeah," said Asuma. "They can't do any harm."

The group of male ninja looked back at their books.

"Nothing, nothing, nothing," murmured Jiraiya, who was really just skimming through the scroll instead of actually reading it. He rolled it back up and placed it back on the shelf, when he spotted another scroll tucked in between two other ones, and it was quite obvious it didn't belong there. Curious, Jiraiya grabbed the scroll and opened it up. It was relatively short. Jiraiya skimmed through it, then, his eyes widened.

"Guys!" said Jiraiya. Asuma, Iruka, Gai and Kakashi all looked up to turn their attention to their comrade. After hearing the urgency and seriousness of his tone, the four other men—err, _ladies_, got up from their chairs immediately and walked over to him (her?).

"Listen," said Jiraiya. He read, "_'The Mystical Transformation_ was created by the Yamanaka family. The Yamanaka family was supposed to present it to their daimyo (Lord) as a technique for spy work that changed the victim's gender."

"Wait," said Asuma. "How can the Yamanaka family even give a technique to a daimyo? Sure, daimyo may be in the fire country, and some are even in Konoha, but the power to control a clan only rests in the Hokage's hands. Can a daimyo do that?"

"Actually," said Iruka, going into academy teacher mode. "A long time ago, the clans were scattered within the fire country. Keep in mind Konohagakure wasn't born at the same time as the fire country; it took some time before Konoha was founded. The clans came to Konoha since it was their rightful place. Before then, it was a lot like feudalism."

"Huh?" said Gai dumbly.

"Feudalism," said Kakashi. "You know, when a daimyo is in charge of some land, and gives portions of land to the people who promise to serve him. Basically, this daimyo had the Yamanaka family living on his land in exchange for protection, which is why the Yamanaka family created this _Mystical Transformation_ thing, for him."

"Curse you Kakashi," Gai growled under his breath. "You and your cool attitude!"

"…what?" said Kakashi, raising an eyebrow.

"Curse you! You did it again!" Gai shouted. Kakashi was about to speak but decided against it.

"ANYWAYS," said Jiraiya loudly, angry by all the useless interruptions. He continued reading on, "_The Mystical Transformation _was going to be used to put the daimyo in disguise as a beautiful woman, the daimyo used this technique because he was not a ninja and was unable to use transformation techniques, the daimyo's intention was to sneak into a long time rival's household and assassinate him. He succeeded, but the Yamanaka family never found a way to turn him back to a woman."

"Oh yeah," said Gai, rolling his eyes. "Some help that is."

The four other shinobi either slapped their foreheads or shook their heads at Gai's stupidity.

"Look," said Jiraiya. "I'm going to say this is a way that even YOU will be able to understand. Either one, there is no cure, or two, if there is one; it's within the Yamanaka clan."

"Okay, whatever," said Gai. "But that still doesn't help. We're not in the Yamanaka clan and if there's no cure…"

"There has to be a cure," said Kakashi. "I need to turn back male. No matter how sexy I am."

The guys (girls?) sweatdropped.

"Look, however we turned this way, it was the work of a Yamanaka," said Iruka.

"Yeah, but the only Yamanaka we know is Ino, and I highly doubt she wanted to turn us into females," said Asuma. "And I don't think Ino would hold something that valuable."

"If only we could remember what happened…" said Iruka, sighing.

"If only we could figure out WHO made this happen…" said Jiraiya.

"Any of you guys know anybody of the Yamanaka clan?" said Asuma, with a raised eyebrow. Everybody shook their head no except one…

Everybody looked at Kakashi.

"Well, uhm…" said Kakashi, coughing nervously.

"It can't be Kakashi though! He said everybody precious to him is dead!" protested Iruka.

"Trust me, she isn't precious," said Kakashi. All the guys looked at each other nervously before looking back at Kakashi.

"Well, we have to see her anyways," said Jiraiya.

"Look, I'll tell you this, her attitude doesn't exactly rub people the right way. She used to be an instructor in the ANBU," said Kakashi, warningly.

"Instructor?" the other four said in unison, they glanced at each other quizzically.

"Like a squad captain?" asked Asuma. Kakashi shook his head.

"No, before you become ANBU, you have to have the right traits to qualify, then you have to undergo strict training, 'instructors' were the people who trained you," explained Kakashi.

"So basically this Yamanaka woman is a hardcore, strict, serious, pain in the ass?" said Asuma, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, she's scary," said Kakashi, nodding.

"She definitely sounds like it," said Iruka, he shivered.

"And yet, at the same time, she sounds oddly hot," said Jiraiya. Everyone just rolled their eyes.

"So do you think we can score some info?" asked Asuma.

"Not without a challenge."

End of Chapter

RLN: Will the guys get info on _The Mystical Transformation _from this Yamanaka? Or will she be a tough cookie to break? Find out!

Note: I didn't read over the chapter, so I'm expecting comments on grammar.


	14. Yamanaka Masako

RLN: WOW! I FINALLY UPDATED! AND AFTER _MONTHS_! SO MANY DAYS AND WEEKS! AND HERE YOU GUYS WERE WAITING FOR IT ALL THIS TIME! HAHAHA—

(gets pummeled)

Err; also, I've decided that nobody will be getting together at the end of the story. Pairings will be hinted, but I don't think I'm actually going to pair characters together.

(gets pummeled again)

**Chapter 14: Yamanaka Masako**

"So this ANBU instructor is, theoretically, our last hope?" said Neji.

"Unless we can find out who the criminal is, pretty much," said Kakashi. The guys (err…girls?) looked at the floor nervously. They walked together up the path to the house. Kakashi asked, "So, who's going to knock?"

Everyone pushed Kakashi forward.

"Oh no, nobody stop me," said Kakashi sarcastically before stepping up onto the porch. He gulped before approaching the door. He knocked nervously. No response. "Well, looks like she's not here! Let's go!"

He was about to turn around and run off, but everyone glared at him so he knew he had to stay. He turned around and knocked again.

"I'm coming!" shrieked a voice from inside. The guys (girls) gulped in unison, Kakashi the most. The door swung open, revealing a woman in maybe her late twenties or early thirties with tawny hair and brown eyes. She looked at Kakashi head to toe, then the guys (girls?) behind him. She gave an irritated sigh.

"I'm not a lesbian, I'm not desperate and I don't have any hundreds," she growled, before she could slam the door shut, Kakashi put out his hand and stopped the door. Her eyes narrowed. "Look, do I have to remove you by force? Just so you know, I happen to be an ANBU—"

"—Instructor, it was your first job when you entered ANBU, which was at a significantly young age. You train the seventh level of ANBU, your partners are Mina and Aru and you trained many skilled ANBU. Like the oh-so-handsome, talented Kakashi, who—"Asuma walked up to him just so he could bonk him on the head. "—err, anyways… your name is Yamanaka Masako and we need your help."

"I don't help stalkers," the woman, now known as Masako, replied coldly.

"We're not stalkers," said Kakashi with an irritated sigh.

"You must be, because I don't hand out my personal information and I've never seen you before," she said bitterly.

"You _think _you've never seen us before. But you've seen me."

"Oh really?" she said in a flat voice, crossing her arms and leaning against the side of her door.

"Yeah, it's me, Hatake Kakashi!" Kakashi exclaimed, throwing his arms open in an enthusiastic manner.

Masako slammed the door shut.

Kakashi just stood in his place staying in the same position for a moment or two before knocking on the door. The door swung open once again and Masako looked absolutely pissed.

"You're obviously mental so get out of here!" she exclaimed.

"I'm not mental, I'm really Kakashi!"

"Last time I checked, Kakashi was a _man_… or boy, whatever," she said. She then paused for a moment. She raised a brow. "Unless you've decided to go on gay side and asked Tsunade for an operation—"

"No," he said in a blunt voice. "I would never. I'm a woman because of the _Mystical Transformation_."

Her eyes widened.

"How do you know about that?" she said. The guys (girls) knew she was trying to sound angry, but she sounded much too shocked.

"We were obviously infected by it," said Iruka. "We found a scroll in the library about the _Mystical Transformation _and we needed to find a cure. You were the only Yamanaka we, or Kakashi anyways, knew of that could potentially help us."

She looked around, to the right and to the left, looking to see I anybody was around.

"Well, we can't talk about it out here… come in."

(_- - -_)

Sasuke glared at Naruto as he was bouncing up and down in his recliner like a little kid. The recliner squeaked every time Naruto moved and there was only so much squeaking Sasuke could handle. Soon, everyone was glaring at him.

Squeak-Squeak-Squeak! Squeak-Squeak-Squeak! Squeak-Squeak-Squeak! Squeak-Squeak—

Sasuke grabbed Naruto's forearm arm, stopping him.

"Quit it," Sasuke hissed, in a tone that suggested if Naruto made one more squeak that would be the end of him. Naruto nodded slowly, since the tone in Sasuke's voice scared him.

Masako sat down in a recliner, the chair shifted slightly. She crossed her legs, crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair.

"So tell me, how did this happen?"

All of the guys looked at each other in unison. Iruka decided to speak for the group.

"We're not quite sure, we don't remember how exactly it happened," he admitted grimly. She sighed.

"Look, whoever did this to you is in huge trouble. That technique is not supposed to be in the hands of anybody. It was locked up in the forbidden library in the Hokage's tower," she said in a serious(er(?)) tone. "It was probably stolen."

"Stolen?" said Sasuke. He cursed under his breath.

"That means anybody could have done this to us! Gah, this is so troublesome!" said Shikamaru, speaking with the most energy anybody has ever heard from him.

"It does?" said Kiba, who was utterly clueless.

"If it was stolen, yeah," said Neji, crossing his arms. "Anybody could've have stolen it. We had suspects _before_, but now _anybody_ could be the culprit."

"Not quite, it _had_ to be a Yamanaka or a high authority. They're the only ones who know about the _Mystical Transformation_," said Masako. The woman stroked her chin. "You said you found that scroll in the library, right?"

The older (Fe)males nodded.

"Whoever pulled this prank probably stuffed the scroll back in the local library because he or she couldn't get into the forbidden one without being seen," said Masako.

"Who cares who did it? I just want to get back into my normal body!" exclaimed Kankurou.

"You mean you don't want to get revenge on the bastard who did this to us?" said Gaara, his eyes narrowing. Kankurou was quiet for a moment.

"Good point…"

"That and the person who did this… he or she has possession over your bodies," said Masako in a grim voice.

"WHAT?" all the, former-males said in unison. Naruto even added a few swears at the end.

"Think about this, it's not hard. What is the Yamanaka clan infamous for?" Masako didn't pause to let anyone answer. She answered for them. "Body and soul transfer. The _Mystical Transformation _is no transformation at all, but an exchange."

"You mean somebody's running around in our bodies?" exclaimed Lee with a gasp.

"No, idiot! Let me finish!" snapped the older woman, getting too angry too fast. She cleared her throat and continued. "The _Mystical Transformation _transfers a soul into _semei doll_."

"Semei doll?" practically everyone in the room echoed. Kankurou cleared his throat.

"A _semei doll _is a realistic looking doll, almost human; puppeteers would use them for spy work and traps. Of course, that was long ago until shinobi found out a way to alter appearances with the _henge no jutsu _(transformation technique)," said Kankurou. "A _semei doll_ is also entranced with chakra, which produces a genjutsu to mess around with other people's senses, and to really give off the illusion that the doll is indeed real."

"Oh yeah, takes a real man to study his dolls," muttered Kiba, but loud enough for everyone to hear. Kankurou shot a cold look at the Inuzuka.

"But I'm not finished," said Kankurou. "The technique to making these dolls was lost over time. People make them to improve their craftsmanship and creativity, it's a rare art. That narrows down our suspects again!"

"Puppet boy has a point!" exclaimed Naruto, while Kankurou shot daggers at him with his eyes. Was everybody against him that day? "Now we have a chance to figure out who's done this to us! And we can get back to our bodies!"

"Not quite," said Masako, coughing. Everyone's shoulders slumped.

"What do you mean 'not quite'?" asked Asuma slowly.

"Well, first of all, this person could've destroyed your bodies," said Masako slowly. Everyone's eyes bulged.

"NO! I CAN'T STAY A WOMAN FOREVER!" screamed Lee.

"Women are inferior," scoffed Neji. Masako glared at him, but he didn't seem to notice. That or he didn't give two shits, which is probably the more likely answer.

"I am NOT staying like this," said Gaara, his eyes narrowing. You knew blood was probably going to splatter everywhere if he still had Shukaku.

"If this person is cold enough to do this to you, then what do you honestly expect?" said Masako sternly. "If this person is going to steal a scroll from the forbidden library to get you out of your bodies, he or she is more than just a prankster. I can guarantee this person has more in mind then just fooling around with you guys."

"Yeah, and now he's going to get his ass kicked!" exclaimed Kiba. The former boys started shouting in agreement, until Masako shrieked at them to shut the hell up.

"Now stop screaming like a bunch of dumbasses and let me finish!" she snapped. "If you can find a way to get your bodies back, you _can _change back. All you have to do is use the _Mystical Transformation _to get back in your bodies. Considering the scroll was shoved back into the library, I'm assuming that the culprit or culprits are not far from Konoha. You may stand a chance."

"Yeah, but we have to find out who did this, and quick," said Shino. Masako nodded in agreement, the first time the group had seen her agree with anything.

"The best way to do this is by tracking down people who still know the art of making _semei _dolls," said Masako.

"Like...?" Chouji led on.

"I don't know! Why are you asking me?" Masako snapped.

_Brash women must run in the Yamanaka clan, _Shikamaru thought, close to rolling his eyes.

"Know any people, puppet boy?" Naruto said, looking at Kankurou. He glared at him.

"No, if I did, I would've said something earlier," he said coolly. "But Suna _is _one of the legendary countries when it comes to puppeteers. There's probably somebody there." He paused. He then muttered, "Then again, Iwagakure (Hidden Village in the Rock) is legendary for their clay dolls and craftsmanship."

"Well that narrows it down," said Naruto. "To just about, oh I don't know… HALF THE PEOPLE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!"

"Are you guys... girls…WHATEVER, deaf?" Masako said hotly. "I JUST said that the culprit can't be far from Konoha."

"So it has to be Suna!" said Kiba dumbly.

"No, no, no! It means the person isn't in Suna, Iwa but in Konoha!" said Masako, looking like she was going to smack Kiba around. "Just look around for your bodies within Konoha! Then, if you bring them back here along with the scroll, I'll do the honors in changing you guys back. If your bodies aren't within Konoha, _then_ run across the globe for your bodies!"

"Yeah, only one problem," said Sasuke. Everyone huffed angrily when they realized there was ANOTHER catch. "We can't just go around to people saying 'Hello, we've just been turned into females thanks to an ancient Yamanaka technique, but our real bodies are laying around in Konoha, can we search your house for them?'"

"Good point!" said Naruto. He laughed. "We'd be sent to the mental hospital for that!" The other guys couldn't seem to find their sense of humor like Naruto.

"This is so annoying," said Sasuke, preparing to get all emo. But what else is new? Really Sasuke, if you overdue something no one's going to take you seriously.

"Oh shut up!" Sasuke snapped at the wonderful (and completely innocent) authoress.

Then the ass-wipe—err, _Uchiha_ went back to the original point. "So what do you guys suggest we do now?"

"Well, what _can_ we do?" said Asuma. "We know where to go; we just don't know how to do it. Face it, we're stumped."

"Listen to yourselves!" said Neji with a scoff. "We're SHINOBI; we don't have to ask anything. We're skilled in the arts of stealth. We can just search people's houses."

"Gee, why didn't I think of that?" Kiba laughed softly. "Oh yeah, I remember, BECAUSE THIS IS A NINJA VILLAGE!"

"Wait," said Shino.

"HE SPOKE!" screamed Naruto. Everyone ignored him/her.

"I just got an idea," Shino continued. "We can track down the mastermind who did this all."

"How do we do that?" asked Kiba.

Neji snorted. "Idiot, you and Shino have the best tracking skills in the village. Well, next to the Hyuuga clan of course."

Kiba's eyes narrowed. "Actually, _idiot_, I don't have any powers, remember?"

"I can't believe you actually forgot about your number one comrade," said Shino.

Kiba thought for a moment, and then his face brightened. "Akamaru!"

"Yes! The dog is actually useful!" said Naruto, pumping his fists into the air. Kiba's eyes narrowed.

"Are you still talking about the dog that pwned you in the Chuunin exams?"

"But still lost in the end," Naruto added.

"IT WAS A FLUKE!" exclaimed Kiba. "I would've won!"

"Look, it's not MY fault you decided to aim for my ass!" Naruto snapped.

"Oh PLEASE," snapped Kiba. "I bet the audience smelt THAT one."

_Well, it wasn't exactly the most pleasant memory I have, _all the others in the rooms thought.

"So you have the dog to track down the culprit, hurry up and get that scroll!" exclaimed Masako. "And hurry up!"

"Right!" said Gai in the Good Guy Pose, Lee decided to mimic.

"Whatever dude," said Jiraiya. "Let's just go."

"We should split up, some of us will look for the scroll, the rest will go with Kiba to get Akamaru," said Iruka.

"He's got a point," said Chouji.

"Alright," said Kakashi. "Kiba, Sasuke, Shino, Neji, Shikamaru, Asuma and I will go get Akamaru. The rest of you will search the library for the scroll."

"Wait, why do I have to go with the boring people?" exclaimed Kiba.

"Because we're the best at stealth," said Kakashi. "You can't go in there demanding for Akamaru when you look like a complete stranger to your family."

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm not all that thrilled either," said Shikamaru with a yawn.

"Where should we meet?" asked Chouji.

"Ichiriaku?" suggested Naruto.

"Alright, let's go!" said Iruka. He and the rest of his group headed towards the library.

"Once you get everything, come back here," said Masako. "I'll perform the technique. Have the scroll and bodies present."

"It's no big deal," said Sasuke. "Now let's go."

Sasuke headed out the door, everybody else followed except Kakashi.

"Thanks for the help," he said.

"Don't get too warm about it, I'm doing it for the village, not for you," said Masako.

"Hahaha…" _Of course…_

"I never liked you," said Masako, her eyes narrowing. "You always read those dirty books, and not to mention you tried acting like the cool guy all the time… That calm behavior pissed me off all the time, I don't quite understand why."

"Huh, what? Sorry, I was distracted for a moment," said Kakashi.

Masako's eye twitched. _Same as always…_

"But I caught some parts of it," said Kakashi, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "I swear I heard it somewhere before… Naw, that can't be." He thought again for a moment. "No, I got no one. See you later!"

He grinned and left.

(_- - -_)

Iruka, Jiraiya, Naruto, Chouji, Kankurou, Lee, Gaara and Gai were standing inside the library.

"Alright, let's spread out!" exclaimed Jiraiya.

"Wait!" exclaimed Lee. "What are we looking for?"

Everyone stared at him. Gai coughed. "The scroll, Lee."

"I know that! But what kind of scroll is it?" asked Lee.

"I have a better question, why didn't you just bring the scroll along?" asked Gaara, his eyes narrowing.

"Uh… does that really matter right now?" said Jiraiya, laughing slightly.

Everyone just rolled their eyes. (That'd look weird if EVERYBODY did it at the same time…oh well)

"Well, it's a pretty thin scroll," said Iruka. "It's white, but it has a green ring at each end. It's tied together with a blue string, I think. It's a pretty small scroll."

"Maybe we should go over to where you first found it," Chouji suggested.

"Yeah! Let's go!" exclaimed Naruto. "Believe it!" **(1)**

Everyone stared at Naruto with horrified expressions. Naruto clapped his hands over his mouth when he realized what he said.

"Sorry about that," he said, his voice muffled since he covered his mouth. "It had a mind of its own."

"Just be sure to never, ever do it again," said Kankurou.

Naruto just nodded, afraid to speak again.

"Alright, let's go," said Jiraiya. He leaded the way toward the shelf he found the scroll.

As they approached the shelf, Jiraiya started scanning through the scrolls.

"Do you see it?" asked Chouji.

"No," said Jiraiya as he looked up. "…Because it's not here anymore."

Everyone gasped over-dramatically.

DUN, DUN, DUN!

End of Chapter

RLN: Oh, heavens no! What will happen next?

Well, at least there IS a cure.

Please review, I guess. As you can see, I have nothing better to say.

Oh yeah, there's also a new rule that pennames can only be 30 characters long. That's why my penname is _RedLotusNin_ instead of _RedLotusNin and IceHunterNin_ (which only adds up to 28, spaces included, but I decided not to take any chances).

Although the rule isn't confirmed yet, it'd be a good idea to shorten your penname before it's too late.

For proof, just look at the front page.

**(1) "Yeah! Let's go!" exclaimed Naruto. "Believe it!" **In the American version of Naruto, Naruto's 'dattebayo' is replaced with 'Believe it'. And yes, this pisses off us subbed fans. The worst thing is he says it, like, all the time.


	15. Even MORE Problems

RLN: FILLERS MIGHT BE OVER SOON! WHOO!

Then again, the key word is _might_.

**Chapter 15: Even MORE Problems**

"Oh no! What will we do? WHAT WILL WE DO?" exclaimed a hyperventilating Lee.

"Lee, my wonderful student! Calm down!" exclaimed Gai, grabbing Lee's shoulders and shaking him violently (which really just made matters worse).

"Crap! What are we going to do now?" exclaimed Kankurou, throwing his hands in the air.

"Relax!" said Jiraiya. "It's simple. The scroll was probably returned to the secured library…"

"OR IT WAS STOLEN!" screamed Lee. "IT'S ALL OVER FOR US!"

"LEE!" Gai shook Lee's shoulders even MORE violently (Lee resembled a bobble-head).

"We'll just go to the forbidden library and get it," said Jiraiya.

"What's the point in having a forbidden library if people can just waltz in and get what they want?" said Gaara flatly. _Man, these Konoha shinobi are stupid. I guess Suna-Ninjas are the only geniuses in this world, _Gaara thought as Kankurou picked his nose in the background.

"Hello! You're traveling with me, Jiraiya! I happen to have connections," said Jiraiya, crossing his arms.

"Jiraiya?" said Naruto. He laughed dryly. "Oh, I forgot about that. Because the LAST time I checked, you were _Junko_."

"…crap," said Jiraiya, his eyebrows furrowing. But then, a determined—or crazy—look flashed in his eyes. "Then I guess we're going to have to sneak in!"

"ARE YOU FRIGGIN' CRAZY?" exclaimed Iruka. Everyone stared at him, not expecting the usually timid academy teach to burst out like that. He coughed nervously, his ears turning pink. "I mean, uhm… do you really think that's a good idea?"

"What other choice do we have?" exclaimed Jiraiya.

"We can't get in!" cried Chouji. Naruto muttered something about pessimistic people. Chouji continued, "I mean, come on! This is the forbidden library, one of _the_ most protected areas in Konoha!" He laughed slightly. "I mean come on! This isn't anything easy like a dine-and-dash…" Everyone automatically felt sorry for the restaurants that Chouji went to and snuck out of before paying (hence the name dine-and-dash). "…and the fact that we have none of our earlier skills… well, don't get me started on that."

"Yeah, we weren't all that stealthy to begin with," muttered Naruto.

"I can't believe you guys!" exclaimed Lee. "Stop being so negative!"

"Well, we may not have stealth but we do have two things we didn't have before," said Jiraiya.

"And what's that?" asked Kankurou.

"They're sitting right here," said Jiraiya, presenting his chest.

"Oh god," said Gaara, burying his face in one of his hands.

"Ha! That's right!" exclaimed Naruto. "The one thing that no man can resist: female seduction!" He paused and then quickly added, "Unless they're gay or unless they're Sasuke."

"Isn't that the same thing?" said Chouji, but everybody ignored him.

(_- - -_)

Outside the Inuzuka house, hiding in the foliage on the grounds, was a group of girls that were formerly men.

In case you're feeling slow today (or missed the last chapter), they were Neji, Sasuke, Kiba, Kakashi, Asuma, Shikamaru and Shino.

"What should we do? This place is surrounded," said Neji.

"Tell us something we don't know," said Kiba rolling his eyes.

"One time when I was 14 I accidentally looked down Tenten's shirt when we were sparring."

"What?" everybody asked in unison. They were unable to catch what Neji had said.

"Nothing," said Neji quickly. He looked around with shifty eyes.

"Okay, whatever," said Shikamaru, who was hiding behind a tree. Next to him was Kiba. Neji and Sasuke were hiding in bushes in front of the trees while Shino, Kakashi and Asuma stuck low to the ground. He whispered to Sasuke and Neji, "Well, what do you see?"

"Nothing much," said Neji.

"The only thing interesting here is a dog chasing its tail…" said Sasuke.

"IS HE GONNA GET IT?" exclaimed Kiba. Everyone turned around to stare at him. "Uhm, I mean…" Kiba's face flushed slightly. "Err, I mean… Get to the important things!"

"Well Kiba, this is your house. You know this place the best. Do you know any way we can get in?" asked Asuma.

"We're on the east side of the house," said Kiba. "My room should be near the upper floors. The best way to get in would be the hallway window."

"Oh yeah," said Sasuke, rolling his eyes. "No problems there, except maybe the fact that our chakra is crap and we can't walk up the walls."

"Our chakra is crap now?" said Kiba, taking it literally. He looked horrified.

"No, dumbass!" hissed Shikamaru. "He didn't mean it like that! Our chakra is just lame now. If we have to get through the window, we have to climb."

"That's going to be tough," muttered Kakashi. "Kiba, do you know any better way in?"

"No," admitted Kiba, frowning. "It's nearly impossible to sneak in by entering a door."

"Crap," said Sasuke.

"Also, there's no door on the east wall."

"Double crap."

"Okay," said Asuma with a heavy sigh. "We'll go in through the damn window."

"There's three levels," Neji informed.

"My room is on the third floor," said Kiba

"Triple crap," said Sasuke.

"See any openings?" asked Shino.

"None," said Neji, he then gave Sasuke a quick look, as if telling him not to say 'quadruple crap'. As soon as he turned his direction back to the house, he then quickly said, "Wait! There aren't as many people there, anymore. This might be our chance."

"We're going to have to distract them," said Shikamaru. Then he murmured, "But how?"

"Are they male or female?" asked Asuma.

"Uhm, male. But I'm not sure about the dogs."

"I bet if one of you guys rip off your shirts and run by, they'll get distracted!" exclaimed Asuma, but he didn't speak too loudly.

"Well, don't look at me," said Kiba quickly. "I'm not like _that_ with family."

"Well, I'm not going to do it," muttered Asuma. "I'm more of an idea person."

"I'm not attractive," said Shikamaru quickly. Everyone sort of looked at him. "In my FEMALE form, that is."

"I'm not that ridiculous," said Shino.

"Neither am I," said Sasuke.

"Same here," said Neji.

Everyone looked at Kakashi.

"…What?" said Kakashi, blinking several times. His eyebrows furrowed. "I'm _so_ not doing that."

"You're the pervert!" protested Kiba.

"Yeah, but I'm not gay," said Kakashi.

"Well I'm not gay either!" snapped Sasuke. Everybody looked as if they were about to say something, but Sasuke glared at them and quickly added, "If you value your miserable life, _don't_ go there." Everybody shut up.

"Well?" said Shikamaru. "One of us has to do it."

They all sat there.

"I had a good excuse," said Kiba. "The rest of you don't."

"Unfortunately, he has a point," said Neji, rolling his eyes.

"There has to be a better plan," said Sasuke.

"We could try knocking him out," suggested Shino.

"With what? Large blunt objects?" said Shikamaru. He scoffed. "We don't have—"

"Hey look! Large blunt objects!" exclaimed Kiba, pointing. Shikamaru froze.

"You were just lucky," Shikamaru said quickly. Shino didn't say anything, as usual.

(_- - -_)

The bell hanging on the door of the Yamanaka flower shop rang. Ino tucked a piece of hair before turning her direction to the door.

"Welcome to the Yamanaka flower shop! Looking for anything specific?" she cried, her face beaming. But as soon as she realized it was Sakura at the door, her frown melted away. "Oh. Hey Sakura," she said bluntly.

"Wow, I feel SO welcomed," Sakura said sarcastically.

Ino scoffed. "Well, it's just YOU. You don't need a real friendly welcome, I see you all the freaking time."

"Fine, then I'll just take my business ELSEWHERE," said Sakura.

"WAIT! I DIDN'T MEAN IT! COME BACK!" screamed Ino. Sakura froze. Ino stroked her chin. "You don't really buy anything from here… well, anyways, what do you need?" Ino raised an eyebrow. "Better yet, what's it for?"

"I'm not getting anything. I was just kidding with you," said Sakura. She laughed. Ino seemed peeved though. "I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out or something. But I can see you're busy with…" Sakura looked around the store but there wasn't a single costumer. A tumble-weed rolled by.

"It's been like this all day," said Ino. "You think that living in a ninja village would bring in tons of people. People would be coming in crazy for flowers for their dead-ones."

Sakura stared at her. "You should try speaking with a bit more compassion, Ino."

Ino rolled her eyes. "Okay, loved-ones that are now dead-ones."

"Heh-he, close enough…"

"Well, since things are dead here, let's go!" exclaimed Ino. She pulled of the apron she had to wear when she was working and then threw it over the counter.

"Uh, Ino? Are you sure it's okay to just leave?" said Sakura.

"We'll just go for a walk!" Ino said. She then turned Sakura around and started pushing her towards the door. "Let's ditch this place already!"

They stepped outside and Ino automatically saw a familiar face.

"Hello, uh, Masako is it?" Ino called out. Masako turned around and saw her.

"Oh, hello. Ino, right?" she said.

"Yep!" said Ino.

"And you're Sakura, right?"

"How'd you know?" Sakura said. She blinked several times.

"Well, you are the Hokage's apprentice, right?" said Masako, raising a brow.

"Ha-ha, yeah, that's right…" _Way to look stupid, Sakura._

Masako frowned. _That girl isn't all that bright is she? I didn't expect that…_

The corner of Ino's mouth twitched. _Don't laugh at Sakura's stupid moment, Ino._

"So, aren't you like, this hot-shot ANBU instructor?" said Ino. "So why are you out here?"

"Well, I'm on the look out for somebody right now…" said Masako. "I forgot to tell them something."

"Who are you looking for?" asked Ino. "I could help."

"Yeah, me too," said Sakura.

"Well, you wouldn't recognize him at the moment," said Masako.

"Why, is he in disguise or something?" Sakura asked.

"…I guess you could say that," said Masako, then she froze. She just remembered something. _That Sakura girl used to be a pupil of Kakashi's. Also, I remember hearing him and another mention names, including Sasuke and Naruto. Those two were her teammates. She must already know about them being turned into girls._

"I'm looking for Kakashi," said Masako.

"Kakashi Sensei?" said Sakura. "That can't be right, he's on a mission."

"A mission?" said Masako, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, he was gone yesterday as well," said Sakura. "You'll have to wait till he comes back."

"He's not on a mission! I talked to him just awhile ago!" Masako protested.

Sakura and Ino blinked twice. "What? Really?" said Sakura.

"Yeah," said Masako. "He's just a girl."

Sakura and Ino blinked twice. "_What?_" Ino and Sakura asked in unison.

"Yeah…" said Masako, looking just as confused as the two teenage girls. "He and the others are girls as well."

"Others?"

"Yeah, Naruto and Sasuke. There was a bunch of other people there too."

"Like who?" asked Ino.

"I remember a bunch of other names. I think your teammates were there too," Masako said to Ino. "As well as a few memorable ones like Neji, Shino, Lee and Gai."

"That's ridiculous!" exclaimed Ino, but Sakura grabbed Ino's forearm.

"Wait a second, I just thought of something," said Sakura. Ino's eyebrows rose.

"What?"

"Remember those girls we invited to our slumber parties? Didn't they sort of act and sort of resemble them? Even their names sound the same!" said Sakura. "And how is it that _all_ of our teammates and teachers, including Hinata's, Tenten's and Temari's brothers, all left at the same time without saying goodbye to us? And I believe it's beyond coincidence that they all disappeared the same time those girls appeared."

"Sakura! I know you're not trying to say those girls are our teammates!" cried Ino. "That's ridiculous!" However, Ino didn't sound so sure of herself.

"I'm not trying to say anything. I'm _stating_ it."

"Oh god," said Ino. "You're right! You know what this means, right?"

"We have to tell Tenten, Hinata and Temari?"

"That and—WE HAVE TO KICK THEIR SORRY ASSES!" exclaimed Ino.

Masako's shoulders slumped. _Uh oh._

End of Chapter

RLN: Now that _Stranded with Idiots_ is over, I can update this story more.

Hmm… I don't think this chapter was all that satisfying (it was really freaking short) but I'll update quicker next time. And the next one will be better (I hope)!

I wonder what's going to happen next…

Edit: I fixed a couple of missing words and edited sentences.


	16. Strange Plans

12-26-06

RLN: So the fillers are going to be over in February, this time it was confirmed. I can't wait to see it!

I mean, you know what really sucks? I only started watching the anime right when the fillers started. I didn't even get to glance at the Naruto vs. Sasuke fight. That really bites. But now I have a chance!

Who else up for the Kakashi-arc:)

Also, I looked up some of the older chapters… I twitched so much I think my family members thought I was going mad or something.

I'm so glad my writing improved, even if it's still not that great.

**Chapter 16: Strange Plans**

Ino and Sakura had gathered Temari, Tenten and Hinata into one spot. Ino and Sakura were talking about the information they gained when they bumped into Masako.

Ino was summing up their speech.****

"So don't you get it?" exclaimed Ino. "They were trying to sneak up on us! Embarrass us! THEY WERE PLOTTING AGAINST US!"

"Whoa Ino, calm down," said Tenten, looking worried when Ino began erupting a massive aura of chakra that would make Kyuubi run home crying. "I think we should think about this logically. What are the actual chances of this happening?"

"But I know it's true!" snapped Ino. "And it makes sense!"

"I guess in a creepy, scary, twisted sort of way it does," said Temari. "But I don't think it's safe to just jump to conclusions. Be logical here—why would they want to go so far to just embarrass us? Why would they _need_ to plot against us?"

Tenten shrugged. "Who knows? I've been teammates with Lee and Neji since I was 12 and I still have no idea what goes on in their heads; especially Lee."

"See?" said Temari. "There is no REAL evidence they would do something like this. If you ask me, that Masako lady just made you crazy."

"We're not! You're just afraid to admit the truth!" snapped Ino.

"I'm just saying, that if _I_ was in trouble, I would go to my friends and family for help," said Temari, crossing her arms.

"HELLO! THEY WERE TRYING TO PLAY A JOKE ON US! BESIDES, THEY'RE MEN! THEY'RE TOO STUBBORN TO ASK FOR HELP!" screamed Ino. "THEY THINK THEY CAN SOLVE EVERYTHING ON THEIR OWN WITH THEIR MACHO-NESS!"

"Exactly!" agreed Sakura. "I know our theory might be crazy, but I really think it's true!"

"The theory isn't the only crazy thing in here," muttered Tenten.

"Maybe we should find out," said Hinata quietly. "I don't think we should push away Ino and Sakura's opinion…It does seem sort of suspicious."

"Hinata's right! Once we know the truth, we'll kick their asses!" exclaimed Ino.

Hinata frowned. She never quite implied that (in fact, Ino was so off you'd think she was deaf). And Hinata, personally, didn't really want to fight any of the guys (cough-Naruto-cough).

"Okay, have fun," said Temari, ready to leave.

"WAIT! We're right! You have to believe us!" exclaimed Ino. Sakura nodded so frantically her head popped off, flung into space and floated around there while her body fell to the floor!

Just kidding! And you Sakura haters (all five million of you) were looking pretty hopeful there. HA-HA! Sigh, I love crushing dreams…

Ahem, back to the story.

So Sakura nodded frantically and her head did NOT pop off, fling into space and float around while her body fell to the floor. Temari looked irritated.

"I need facts!" she insisted.

"And we'll get them!" exclaimed Sakura, her head STILL not popping off, flinging into space and floating around while her body fell to the floor.

Sakura paused. Then she looked cross. "Okay, that joke's over. You can stop using it now."

"But it is kind of funny," said Ino, giggling. Temari, Tenten and Hinata agreed but they decided not to show it.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Ino-pig."

Ino stopped giggling and glared at her.

"Go get your facts already," said Tenten.

"Fine!" Ino said, sticking out her tongue. "We _will_ go, you cardboard cut-out!"

Ino grabbed Sakura's arm and ran out the door before Tenten could pummel them in weapons.

(_- - -_)

"This is such a dumb plan," Gaara said with an irritated scoff. His eyes narrowed as he and the others stared at the back of the forbidden library. The building was large with many stories.

And no, 'stories' was not a pun based on the fact that it was a library.

"So the front and back door are both surrounded by guards," Iruka recapped. "And each level should be guarded as well. The windows are probably chakra coded so they'll be harder to break open than usual, much harder. There are lots of scrolls to look through, so it'll take awhile. So what do you guys suggest?"

Iruka turned to look at his comrades, all of them staring at him bewildered.

"And you know all of this just by looking at it?" said Chouji.

"No, it was just a guess," said Iruka, shrugging. Everyone else mentally slapped their foreheads.

"So why are we back here?" asked Kankurou. "The back door is guarded."

"Well," started Jiraiya, since he was the actual one who dragged them back there. "I brought us all here because… well, I sort of assumed they _wouldn't_ guard it."

Chouji stared. "Why would you assume that? This _is_ a forbidden library, am I right?"

Jiraiya scoffed. "Well by forbidden, I didn't actually think they wouldn't let anybody in!"

Everyone stared at him. Except Naruto, since he didn't really realize that made no sense. But what did you expect? Naruto is apparently oblivious to everything that goes on in the series.

Like Hinata's ever-so-apparent crush on him. Sure, he'll probably never notice in the manga since Kishimoto has decided to let Hinata, Shino and Kiba sink into the oblivion of on-the-verge-of-non-existence but you think that in all these five million, stupid fillers he'd notice. Because really, the fillers are so long it's become a story of its own. I mean come on. Hinata has practically been dancing around screaming her undying love for Naruto in those damn fillers. And you know what? He hasn't noticed a single friggin' thing. I MEAN COME ON, MAN. We Naruto/Hinata fans are DYING HERE.

Well, then again, Naruto's IQ dropped so drastically in those fillers that I guess I shouldn't have expected much of anything.

So, with you totally ignoring my n00bish rant, please continue with this lame excuse for a fanfiction.

(No seriously. Why are you reading this? Go away. There's a million other better fanfictions out there.)

(Yeah, I was kidding about that. I have no life. I live off of fanfiction. So keep reading.)

(And I live off of reviews too, so please review.)

(_Please _review.)

(Erm, I like parentheses.)

"Well, how do we get past the guards?" Lee asked.

"I told you guys already!" snapped Jiraiya. "We seduce our way in!"

Naruto bitch slapped him. "HOW 'BOUT NO, YOU CRAZY BASTARD!" he screamed in Jiraiya's face.

"We should be looking at their flaws and our strengths," said Iruka.

"Yeah, well, that's why you're a school teacher," said Jiraiya, rolling his eyes. Iruka looked like he was about to say something but he eventually closed his mouth since, well, it was true. "Anyways, the guards are guys. We're hot and sexy girls. This should be adding up in your heads!"

Everyone looked over to the guards. Gai was the first one who recognized them.

"Ah! That's Kotetsu and Izumo!" he exclaimed.

"Erm, who and who?" asked Kankurou.

"Kotetsu and Izumo. They were two of those official guys in the chuunin exams," Naruto explained. "They also work for Tsunade when it comes to office work and stuff."

"So? Who cares?" said Gaara bluntly.

"Maybe we can persuade our way in?" Chouji said.

"I already said we could—"

"NO," everybody argued, interrupting Jiraiya.

"I bet if we told them the truth about our identities they'd let us in!" Lee exclaimed.

"Whatever happened to the part where we all mutually decided we would tell _no one_ about our identities?" Kankurou growled. "We can't go off telling everybody."

"Yeah, and this is Kotetsu and Izumo. I doubt they'll keep a secret," said Naruto. "Especially if it gives them an excuse to blackmail us."

"We have to trick them somehow," Chouji said.

"I still think we should go with my idea," Jiraiya mumbled. Everyone ignored him and began to think.

I know. You're totally shocked that they could think, right? ;)

(_- - -_)

"So uhm… what are these?" Neji asked first. Kiba picked up the large blunt objects he had pointed out earlier. Neji took one of them and examined it. "Is this a pipe? Or is it…" he trailed off.

"It's not metallic. It feels spongy," said Asuma, taking another one of the objects. He grinned. "Maybe it's one of those massage sponges!"

"You mean a loufa?" said Kakashi.

"I thought it was called a luffa," Sasuke said.

"Actually, I think they call them loofah sponges," Kiba interrupted.

They all pondered on it for a bit before giving up. After all, who cares what it was?

"I know what they are," Neji declared. "They're those things you take with you into the pool."

"You mean a noodle?" Sasuke said, blinking.

"I've seen noodles before, and this isn't a noodle," said Kiba, his eyebrows furrowing. "Who brings food into a pool, anyways?"

Sasuke bonked Kiba on the head lightly with the object. "Nobody does, dumbass. It's just a nickname for them. 'Noodles' are these plastic things that float in the water. Kids play with them all the time." He shook his head. "I swear. You're almost as slow as the dobe."

"He might be slower," said Shino. "You should've seen the time he thought he was emo." **(1)**

_"NO!" screamed Kiba. Kurenai, Shino and Hinata looked at him, alarmed._

_"Kiba, what's wrong?" Kurenai asked, concerned._

_"I accidentally cut myself with a kunai! Now I'm emo!"_

There was a brief pause.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "What do you have against emo people?"

"Stop changing the subject," said Asuma, frowning. "Who cares if Kiba turned gothic? We need to—"

"Actually, I said emo," said Kiba.

"—WHATEVER. It doesn't matter. What we need to do is use these pool objects to fight our way in. After all, it's the only weapon we really have…"

"I could go and buy a kunai set," Kakashi suggested.

"No time," said Neji. "Besides, we're still not used to moving in these bodies. Our aim would be way off, namely Sasuke's."

Sasuke glared at Neji coolly. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

Neji glared right back. "It means you throw kunai knives like a retarded academy student."

Sasuke looked as though he was going to hit Neji with the noodle, but Asuma told them to cut it out and to focus.

"Alright, when we find our first opening, we'll climb to the third level window."

"There's one problem with that, and we already discussed it," said Shino.

"What was it?"

"I don't like repeating things…"

"We can't use chakra as well, meaning if we are planning to get to the third level, we're going to have to climb by hand," Neji explained.

"Aww…" everyone whined. Even Sasuke! But not Shino because he's, well, Shino. Neji didn't complain either, because it wouldn't make sense for him to whine after a statement he just made, would it?

"Well, that's true. We need some rope," said Kakashi.

"You're saying we should leave and buy some rope and then come back?" Sasuke said bluntly.

"We could always make a rope. A rope made out of human hair. From somebody's back," said Kiba, his eyes narrowing. Everyone just sort of stared at him. **(2)**

"Uhm, as great as that sounds, how about NO," said Shikamaru. He looked around. "We need to make one."

"How do we make a rope?" Sasuke asked, raising an eyebrow.

"We'll have to find some material to braid together," said Shikamaru. He tried to find some material by looking around.

"What are ropes made out of?" asked Kiba.

"Non-metallic ropes are made out of cotton or linen… Actually, it can be made from a lot of things."

"Okay…" said Neji. "That still doesn't help."

"Yeah, well, what's worse is that we'll also need a grappling hook," said Shikamaru, frowning.

"We can probably make a rope made out of these plants and a grappling hook out of these twigs!" Kiba suggested.

"Uhm, yeah, if you want to fall out of the friggin' house," said Sasuke, his eyes narrowing. "Do you really think a couple of twigs can help us?"

"Maybe we can use the noodles!"

"We need to use the noodles to fight our way in. We discussed that already!" snapped Neji.

"Maybe we could slingshot ourselves in instead!"

"Kiba, we would still need rope to do that," said Shino. "And besides, you can't honestly expect us to slingshot ourselves in the third story window unharmed."

"What if we used stronger rope?"

"Kiba," said Shikamaru firmly. "None of your plans will work, alright? The best thing you've done so far is finding the noodles."

"Guys, I really don't think this is strong enough to knock people out…" said Asuma slowly.

"We'll just keep beating them with it," said Neji, shrugging.

"I still think we can persuade our way in," said Kakashi. His eyebrows furrowed. "GIRL style."

Sasuke slapped his forehead. "Come ON, guys. We need to decide on a plan, NOW."

"And it has to actually be logical," said Shikamaru.

Everyone glanced at Kiba.

Kiba blinked twice. He glared at them. "You guys better not be referring to me."

Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Do we have a plan or not?" Sasuke snapped.

"Just give me a minute!" said Shikamaru. He sat down on the floor and positioned his hands into his famous thinking pose.

"He's thinking of a plan," Asuma explained to the people who looked utterly confused.

"I won't be able to think of a plan if you guys keep yapping!" Shikamaru snapped. He closed his eyes and began to concentrate.

And so, the jeopardy theme began to play…

After what seemed like forever, Shikamaru finally opened his eyes.

"I have a plan," he said. He stood up. Everybody looked excited (well, Asuma did, anyways). "We'll use each other to get into that window."

Everyone's happy faces (well, Asuma's, anyways) went away.

"It took you five freaking minutes to come up with THAT?" Sasuke said arrogantly.

Shikamaru's eyes narrowed. "Well, I didn't exactly see anything genius pop out of your brain."

"Even KIBA could've come up with that," said Sasuke.

"Stop arguing," said Kakashi, bonking Sasuke's head lightly with one of the noodles. Sasuke growled and looked like he was going to beat Kakashi with the noodle, but the Jounin continued talking. "How do you propose we do that?" Kakashi asked Shikamaru.

"We'll stand on each other backs. Or shoulders. Whatever."

"It's too high up," said Neji, who was skeptical about the plan. "And whoever is on bottom will be crushed."

"We're not going to be up long, just long enough for somebody to go into the window. That person will find Akamaru."

"Kiba?" everyone suggested.

"Maybe," said Shikamaru. "But I want somebody light to be on top."

"Are you calling me fat?" Kiba said, his eyes narrowing.

"Yes," said Shikamaru.

Kiba was a bit taken back by Shikamaru's blunt answer.

"The skinniest people here are you and Sasuke," said Neji.

"But I know the area best!" Kiba whined. "And nobody has the power to speak to Akamaru but me!"

"Actually, Kiba, you can't speak to Akamaru anymore," said Shikamaru. "You're a _semei doll_ now, remember?"

Kiba's jaw dropped slightly. "You're right. This sucks!"

"But Kiba still knows the area the best," Neji argued.

"True, true," said Asuma. "Shikamaru, Sasuke and Kiba will all go in."

"Who's going to be on bottom?" asked Kiba.

Everyone looked at Asuma and Kakashi.

"It has to be one of you," said Neji.

Asuma and Kakashi looked at each other.

"He'll do it," they both said in unison.

Neji rolled his eyes. "It doesn't matter. Somebody has to do it."

Asuma rolled his eyes. "Okay, I'll do it. But if I break my back or something, I swear to God…"

Asuma looked around to see if anybody was coming by.

"Don't worry," said Kakashi. "I'll make sure nobody comes by." He grabbed a noodle, which made a clicking noise that guns usually make.

Asuma ran quietly and stood by the house. He motioned for the others to follow him, and they did. When they reached the wall, Asuma crouched down on his hands and knees…

And I swear to God if anybody makes a perverted joke about this in their review, I'll post it on my profile so everyone can make fun of the 'HILARIOUS' comedian.

"Who's next?"

"Shino," everyone decided.

Shino stood there for a moment or two, before standing on Asuma's back.

"OW!" Asuma said.

"This looks dangerous… are you sure we won't get hurt?" Kiba said.

"It's painful, I'll tell you that much!" Asuma said, his eye twitching.

"Don't worry. We'll be fine," said Shikamaru.

A few minutes later (don't ask how) Kakashi was looking around, on guard, while Asuma looked dead. Asuma was in pain because standing on his back was Shino, who had Neji standing on his shoulders, who was helping Kiba, Sasuke and Shikamaru get climb into the third story window.

"Are we almost done?" Asuma squeaked.

"Almost," Shikamaru called down.

"You guys have good balance," Kakashi commented, aiming the compliment towards Neji and Shino.

Neji already helped Sasuke and Kiba into the window, and was currently helping Shikamaru. Shikamaru pulled himself towards the window ledge with Neji's assistance. Shikamaru climbed in through the window.

"Okay!" he called down to Neji, quietly. "We're done."

"We're done," Neji told Shino and Asuma.

"Oh thank God," said Asuma, who was sweating.

But then, at the last minute, Neji and Shino finally lost their balance. Shino fell on the ground, perfectly okay, and Kakashi managed to catch Neji by the back of his shirt.

"We're never doing that again," Neji announced darkly. He looked up at Kakashi. "Now let go of me." Kakashi dropped him on the ground. "Ow!"

"I agree," said Asuma, who was lying down on the floor, face in the ground. Kakashi chuckled.

(_- - -_)

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but for once, ol' _Ero Sennin_ is right…" said Naruto, frowning. "We have to work our way inside."

"In other words, we have to flirt our way inside," said Kankurou bluntly. He sighed. "Oh, how the mighty have fallen…"

"Looks like we have no choice, though," said Chouji. "We need that damn scroll."

"This is going to be hard," said Iruka, sighing.

And he was right.

End of Chapter

Happy (Late) Holidays, everyone!

And this time, I'm not going to promise for a sooner chapter, because I know I won't be able to keep it. Again, sorry for the long update. At least this chapter was… err, _slightly_ longer.

I'll be editing the earlier chapters in this story, though. I'll at least try, I mean it.

For those of you who are wondering, HSFI will probably be updated next.

(1) **"He might be slower," said Shino. "You should've seen the time he thought he was emo."** Just because I know some idiot with absolutely no sense of humor is going to bitch at me, I'll explain this now. No, I have nothing against emo people (just the whiny ones or the emo-wannabe people). It was just a joke. Learn to laugh…

(2) **"We could always make a rope. A rope made out of human hair. From somebody's back," said Kiba, his eyes narrowing. Everyone just sort of stared at him. **That line Kiba said was a parody of _Pirates of the Caribbean: The Black Pearl_. For those of you who haven't seen the movie, there's a joke in the story. A pirate and one of the main protagonists (William Turner) were talking to each other about Captain Jack Sparrow (another one of the main protagonists). They were talking about how Captain Jack Sparrow was stranded on an island for three (?) days and managed to escape. When Will asked how, the pirate told him that Jack took some sea turtles, tied them up with rope, and sailed to land (on SEA TURTLES). When Will asked where he got the rope, Jack stepped into the conversation and he said it was made of human hair from his back. Oh, and for those of you who read my fanfiction _Stranded with Idiots_, yes, I chose Kiba to say it since he played Jack Sparrow in the play.


	17. Sneaky Bastards

RLN: …Okay. So it's been half a year since I last updated.

That's _really_, _really_ sad. Sorry guys. But hey—I told you not to get your hopes up! Hopefully you guys listened to me.

…I couldn't think of a better chapter-title, so I apologize for the fact that it is a bag of douche.

**Chapter 17: Sneaky Bastards**

"Guys, I'm kind of worried," Tenten said suddenly. Hinata looked up, concerned. Temari, on the other hand, didn't bother to look up from her magazine.

"If it's about Sakura and Ino and how they're going psycho—don't be," said Temari. "My brother was an insane killer, if he got knocked out of it, so can Sakura and Ino. They're just going through a 'crazy phase'."

"Actually, I was referring to my nails," said Tenten. Temari finally looked up from her reading. "But now that you mention it, I'm worried about that too." Temari blinked twice.

"Yeah, I hope they're okay," Hinata said quietly.

"Actually, I wasn't referring to worrying about Sakura and Ino," Tenten said. Hinata and Temari each raised an eyebrow. "I was more worried about the innocent bystanders, so I was referring to them. But I guess I'm worried about Sakura and Ino as well." Temari sighed heavily.

"That's true," said Hinata, nodding.

"We should probably make sure that they don't end up killing anyone," said Temari. She threw her magazine aside.

( _- - -_ )

Sakura and Ino were storming through the streets, pushing away innocent bystanders just like Tenten had predicted.

"I bet they did all this just to mess with us!" Sakura said, growling.

"I bet that they were planning something to bring us down! Ha! We'll see who's 'brought down' once I find them!" said Ino angrily.

"You think they would've matured one bit! You think they'd get over this whole childish stage where they prank everyone, but no!"

"They're _boys_, Sakura—well, they _were_, anyways," said Ino with a snort. "They never grow up."

"I can't wait to crush their plans!"

"I can't wait either!"

( _- - -_ )

"So exactly how are we all going to go with this?" said Naruto, raising an eyebrow. "What's our strategy?"

"Well, Jiraiya's apparently the expert. Ask him," said Kankurou, frowning.

"Can we please just do something else?" asked Gaara, sighing.

"There is no other way! Izumo and Kotetsu won't leave their post, so we have to distract them from it," Jiraiya protested. "Besides, this is more fun!" Everyone glared at him. "Well, it'll be fun for Izumo and Kotetsu…" Everyone continued glaring at him. "Look, do you want my help or not?"

Iruka sighed. "Fine. Keep going."

"All right, first, we'll need the distractions," Jiraiya explained.

"Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me!" said Lee, throwing his arms up.

"Lee, as much as I admire your willingness to volunteer and sacrifice yourself for your teammates, I think you should skip out on _that_ specific part of the mission," Gai said, coughing. Lee looked at Gai, confused, but said nothing.

"Ero-Sennin, why don't you do it? Like Kankurou said: you're the expert," Naruto suggested.

"I can't."

"What?!" Chouji exclaimed angrily. "Why not?"

"Because I've been in the library before and I can help find the scroll. I know how things are organized in there," Jiraiya explained. "Now, who will be our distraction?" he exclaimed excitedly.

No one volunteered. Lee almost put his hand up again, but Gai stopped him.

"No? No one? I guess we'll have to choose distractions last," said Jiraiya. "Now, who wants to go inside to help find the scroll?"

Everyone threw their hands up in the air at once.

Not literally, of course.

Jiraiya frowned. It was easy to see that none of them actually wanted to do it; they just didn't want to be the distractions…

"Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!" Lee said excitedly.

…Well, except Lee.

"I need someone quiet and stealthy," Jiraiya said. "Therefore I pick Iruka, Gaara and lastly I'll pick…" Jiraiya frowned. Why did he end up with all the loud people? "I'll take, uhm…I guess I'll take Chouji as well."

"YAY!" Chouji cheered.

Naruto's jaw dropped. "What? No way! That's not fair! Damnit, Ero-Sennin! You can't even pick your own student?"

"That's because you're a brat!" Jiraiya snapped.

"Stop complaining!" Kankurou snapped. "I wasn't picked either."

"Now we need someone loud and observant to be supervisors who can warn us if something goes wrong. They'll stand near the door," Jiraiya explained.

"Ooh! Ooh! Right here! Right here!" said Lee, waving his arms around excitedly.

"Okay, I choose Lee and…"

"YAY!" Lee cheered. Soon, Gai, Kankurou and Naruto began waving their arms around excitedly in the same manner as Lee in hopes of being picked.

"…Well, I guess I'll pick Gai, since he's used to working with Lee…"

"YAY!" Gai cheered. Naruto and Kankurou looked horrified. Jiraiya grinned at them.

"And that leaves you two as the distractions!"

"WHAT? NO FRIGGIN' WAY!" Kankurou complained.

"Stop complaining!" said Naruto, mimicking the way Kankurou had said it to Naruto earlier. Kankurou glared at Naruto, looking completely peeved.

"This isn't fair!" Kankurou growled, ignoring Naruto.

"Shut up," said Gaara, his eyes narrowing.

Kankurou growled. "You can't honestly expect me to be calm about this!"

Normally, Kankurou didn't talk back to Gaara—after all, it was a habit he kept from the days Gaara was an evil, killing, demonic child, but Kankurou was pretty upset about the whole ordeal.

"I'm not happy either," said Gaara. "In fact, I'm starting to wish we never came to Konoha for this long mission, but if you actually learned to stay calm, you wouldn't have to end up being the distraction. You could've actually went into the library and helped out."

"I shouldn't have to be the distraction anyways! I won't be any good at that!" Kankurou complained.

"…And what makes you think that I'm any better?" Naruto snapped.

"Dude! You made up a technique that turns you into a girl and you use it to seduce other guys! And you use it all the time!" Kankurou protested. He then muttered, "In fact, it's kind of suspicious…"

"It's a _joke _technique!" Naruto snapped. "I'm not using it for anything other than getting a few laughs! The only one out of our group who is suspicious is Sasuke!"

It was quiet, mainly because no one could argue with that last statement.

"Well, fact is, you guys are the distractions," said Iruka. "I think it'd be best not to argue. You should feel proud. You're sacrificing yourselves for the cause!" Iruka tried his best to sound positive, but the truth was it was hopeless. The two weren't going to give in.

"But I don't want to sacrifice myself!" Naruto whined.

See?

"For the hundredth time: stop whining, brat," Jiraiya said, growling. "Do you think a real Hokage would start whining and give in?"

Naruto thought for a moment.

"Well, that's true."

"Then stop complaining! Now, let's get down to business. I've already thought up a plan…"

"I'm not surprised. You probably daydreamed of a million scenarios where girls were flirting with you," Chouji said, somewhat darkly.

"Well, I am a writer," said Jiraiya, blinking. The rest of the guys-turned-girls just shook their heads.

( _- - -_ )

Shikamaru, Kiba and Sasuke looked out the window. They saw the others spread out on the floor.

"Sorry!" Kiba called down.

The three heard a noise from below.

"Did Asuma just groan?" Sasuke said, raising an eyebrow.

"It sounded like it," Shikamaru muttered. "But can you blame him? He had to put a bunch of people on his back, and he doesn't look all that strong and stable as a girl…"

"Well, it's a good thing Neji and Shino are tall when they stand," said Kiba. "Otherwise we might have not been able to make it up this high…"

Without realizing it, from behind them, a young lad just happened to round the corner and had entered into the same hallway they were standing at the end of. He stopped in surprise when he noticed the three by the window. He frowned. He approached them, but they still didn't seem to notice him.

Many questions were in his mind. Why were they there? Who were they? And why were they holding those noodle-toys?

"Hey! Are you supposed to be here?" he shouted angrily.

"Huh? What?" Sasuke said. He turned around swiftly, alarmed. The noodle hit the boy in the face when Sasuke made his turn. The boy received a bloody nose from the hit. He stumbled backwards, holding his nose in surprise. While walking backwards, he tripped on the corner of a rug that was on the floor and he fell. His head hit the wall on the way down. He was knocked out before he hit the floor.

Sasuke, Kiba and Shikamaru stared at the unconscious boy, wide-eyed. They then glanced at the noodle Sasuke was holding in his hands, looking slightly frightened. Eventually, Sasuke threw the noodle in the air in a frantic matter that made it seem like the noodle had just turned into a lizard and bit him. The noodle fell on the floor.

"Wow," said Shikamaru, after a short silence. "I guess those noodles are better weapons than we thought. Good job on finding them, Kiba."

"Dude," said Kiba, ignoring Shikamaru's compliment and sounding a bit concerned. "I think Sasuke just knocked out my cousin."

"Oh. Sorry," Sasuke apologized.

"No, it's not a big deal. He's a dick," said Kiba. He grabbed his cousin by the back of his shirt. "Grab his legs. We can hide him in the closet. It's just down the hall."

Shikamaru and Sasuke obliged.

Once Kiba's cousin was stuffed in the hallway closet, Shikamaru glanced around.

"Well, now that that's done, let's see if we can find Akamaru anywhere."

"He's probably in my room," Kiba explained.

Sasuke glanced at the closet. "Does your cousin live with you or something?"

"No," said Kiba. "I just live with my parents and my sister. I have no idea why he's here." He paused for a moment. "I hope his partner's not here…"

"Partner?" said Sasuke, raising an eyebrow. "You mean he's gay?"

Kiba glared at him. "No, he's not, so you can keep your pants on Captain Queer." Sasuke glared right back at him. "By 'partner', I meant his _dog_." Kiba rolled his eyes. "Ass," he muttered under his breath.

"Look," said Shikamaru, before Sasuke could snap back. "Will it be a big deal if his dog is here?"

"Well," said Kiba. "An Inuzuka doesn't exactly talk with his dog, not the way people talk with each other, anyways. I'm not sure how to explain it, but when you're communicating with a dog telepathically, you don't exactly hear words but it's like you can feel what they feel and picture what they're seeing and then you can understand what they're trying to 'say'. There's a reason why we, Inuzuka clan members, usually have one dog partner at a time. The stronger the bond is, the easier we can understand each other. It's like…" Kiba trailed off.

"It's like with people," said Shikamaru, catching on. "The better you know each other, the better you can understand what they're trying to say. It's kind of like how good friends can predict what the other is saying."

"Yeah, it's just like that! So I'm hoping that nobody, including his dog, notice."

"We should get Akamaru, and fast," Sasuke said.

"Yeah, if anybody else notices we're here, it could turn out bad," said Shikamaru, nodding in agreement.

"Okay, we should head to my room," said Kiba. "It's down this way. The two began walking quickly down the hall.

"Hey!"

They stopped. They turned around. Kiba bit his lip as he tried not to swear. It was Hana, Kiba's sister.

"Who are you three?" she asked, as she approached them. Sasuke mentally cursed himself for not keeping the noodle.

"We're friends of Kiba," Shikamaru said quickly.

She raised an eyebrow. "You are?"

"Uhm, yeah," Kiba said, looking around nervously.

"Oh," she said. _I thought I told him not to invite his weird friends over._

"We decided to stop by," said Shikamaru.

"In other words you decided to just come in?" she said skeptically. She was raising an eyebrow and she looked slightly annoyed.

"Actually," said Sasuke. "What he—I mean she means is that we came to pick some things up for Kiba and get Akamaru. See, he's going on an important, last-minute mission and he asked us to get his stuff."

"Why didn't he come to pick it up himself?"

"Well, uh," said Shikamaru, blinking. "He had to get the rest of his team."

"You mean they weren't there to hear it from the Hokage?" said Hana, looking confused.

"Well," said Kiba. "Shino was being a dumbass and decided not to listen to me—I mean Kiba, as usual. Hinata was forced to stay home to do some stuff for her cousin and since he's always shooting down her confidence and being mean to her, she stayed behind so she wouldn't have to hear him complain about her. And Kurenai was too busy flirting with Asuma to pay attention to anyone else. He basically went to the Hokage by himself."

"Oh," said Hana. Her eyes widened a bit. _Well, I always did think his team was weird, especially the Aburame kid, but I didn't expect it to be like that._

"So we're going to get his stuff, since we're his friends," said Sasuke. "Do you know where Akamaru is?"

"Yeah, I'll get him," said Hana. "Wow. This is so sudden. Stay right here." She turned around and left.

The minute she was out of a sight, Shikamaru glanced at Kiba.

"Wow. I'm so telling Neji what you said about him."

Kiba glared at him.

( _- - -_ )

"How do you think they're doing?" Asuma asked Kakashi. The guys had gone back to their hiding spot in the bushes.

"I think we've should've given them better weapons," said Kakashi. "After all, what the hell could a noodle possibly do to a human being?"

( _- - -_ )

"You know, if it was going to be this easy, maybe we should've just went to the front door and knocked," said Shikamaru, frowning.

"Yeah," said Kiba. "But this was more entertaining."

"Except for the thing about your cousin," said Sasuke. "And I'm still sorry about that. It just…happened all of a sudden."

"Don't be apologetic. He sort of had it coming."

"Ah. I see."

"Okay," said Hana, as she came walking down the stairs. "I got a couple of things for Kiba and Akamaru's right here."

True enough, the dog stood right next to Hana, his tongue hanging out as he panted. He seemed happy.

Sasuke, Shikamaru and Kiba were pretty happy themselves. In fact, had Hana not been there right that moment, they probably would've jumped up and down and held hands and skipped around in circles like little schoolchildren. But Hana probably would've freaked out if they actually did that, so they just smiled.

"All right—thanks," said Shikamaru.

"By the way, I've been meaning to ask you guys something," said Hana. "How in the world did you three get up here?"

And just like that, the giddy smiles disappeared.

( _- - -_ )

"Where the hell are they?" Sakura said angrily, looking around. She and Ino were standing in the area where Tenten claimed to have first met them.

"I have no idea," said Ino. "Do you remember that time we were at Ichiraku? I bet they're there."

"I kind of doubt that. The only person who goes they're constantly is…" Sakura trailed off. "Yeah, let's go there."

"We might have to start asking around if they're not there," said Ino.

"We _will_ find them though," Sakura said, looking more determined than ever.

( _- - -_ )

"Okay! Now that you've memorized your lines, get down to business!" Jiraiya exclaimed.

"I _really_ don't want to do this right now," said Kankurou. He thought for a moment. "…Or any other time, for that matter."

"Well that's too bad!" Jiraiya exclaimed, sounding almost enthusiastic.

"Now, remember," said Iruka. "You only have to distract Izumo and Kotetsu with the lines Jiraiya gave you long enough for us to get in."

"I still don't see how we're going to get them away from the door," Kankurou said, frowning.

"Trust me," said Jiraiya. "After a couple of my ingenious lines, Kotetsu and Izumo will follow you just about anywhere!"

"…Uhm, _eww_," said Naruto.

( _- - -_ )

Neji, Kakashi, Asuma and Shino sat in the foliage, waiting for Kiba, Shikamaru and Sasuke to come back.

Suddenly, Asuma noticed something.

"Hey! Here they come!"

The others looked and, true enough, Kiba, Shikamaru and Sasuke all came running up to them.

"We got Akamaru!" said Kiba.

"And a bunch of other shit that belongs to Kiba," Shikamaru muttered darkly. He was the one holding the bag full of Kiba's stuff. Normally Shikamaru wouldn't want to deal with the labor, but Kiba and Sasuke kept yelling at him and he figured it would be too troublesome to argue with them any longer.

"Yeah, that too…" said Kiba. Then he frowned. "Actually, you guys, I was thinking about something. I'm in this doll, right?" Everyone nodded. "So technically, I don't have my powers as an Inuzuka. So how is Akamaru going to know what we're looking for?"

"For once, Kiba makes sense," Neji said. Kiba glared at him. "If he can't converse with Akamaru, how will Akamaru find our actual bodies?"

"Well," said Kakashi. "I guess Shikamaru and Sasuke thought ahead by bringing Kiba's stuff. We'll use the scent for Akamaru to find Kiba's body. Our bodies should be wherever Kiba's is."

Kiba frowned. "What the hell are you talking about? It wasn't Shikamaru and Sasuke's idea to—"

"Well," said Sasuke, interrupting Kiba. "Now that we have Akamaru and the stuff holding Kiba's scent, maybe we should head to Ichiraku as planned and wait for the others."

( _- - -_ )

"It's now or never," said Naruto.

"I'd rather pick 'never'," muttered Kankurou.

Naruto and Kankurou stared at their targets—Kotetsu and Izumo. All they had to do was walk up to them and recite their lines…

"I CAN'T DO IT!" Kankurou said. He tried to run away, but Naruto grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him back.

"No! Get a hold of yourself, man!" Naruto cried. "We have to do this for the team!"

"Screw the team! They're all psychos anyways!"

"We must do this!" Naruto protested. He calmed himself. "Now, let's try this again. We're going to go up to Kotetsu and Izumo and recite the lines Ero-Sennin gave us. When they're distracted, the guys are going to climb into the window. Once they're all in, they're going to find the scroll. All we have to do is distract them between the time the other guys get in and get out. They'll be quick about it, I'm positive!"

"Somehow, you seemed to have forgotten that one of them—my brother—tried to kill me! I don't trust them!" Kankurou snapped.

"We have no choice but to do this!"

"Do it yourself!"

"I can't! I need help! And you're the only one who can!" Naruto snapped. "Don't worry, if we work as a pair, it won't be as bad…"

"Yes it will."

"No it—okay, maybe it will, but we need to do this. If thinking about helping the team doesn't help, then think about yourself! Don't you want to be a guy again?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then let's do this."

Naruto and Kankurou both glanced at Kotetsu and Izumo nervously.

"We _can_ do this," Naruto repeated, but somehow, he didn't sound so sure of himself.

"No we can't…"

"Yes we can!"

"No we can't!"

"We don't have a choice!"

Kankurou blinked twice. "Well, yeah, but…"

"Come on! It's now or never!"

"But—"

Naruto was pretty much fed up with Kankurou's protests, so he grabbed his new comrade by the arm and dragged him toward their targets.

Kankurou was about to yell another protest but before he knew it, the two were standing before Kotetsu and Izumo.

The two guards raised an eyebrow.

"Can we help you?" Kotetsu asked.

"Uhm, hi," was all Kankurou said. Everyone, including Naruto, expected Kankurou to say more so they kept looking at him. When nothing came from his mouth, Naruto coughed nervously and started talking.

"Sorry, my friend is shy," said Naruto, after an awkward silence. Kotetsu and Izumo just stared blankly. Naruto coughed. "And uhm, mildly retarded."

Kankurou glared at him.

"Oh," was all Kotetsu and Izumo said.

The four stood in an awkward silence.

"Uhm, can we help you…?" Kotetsu asked again, staring at the two as if they were crazy.

Naruto tried to recall one of his lines. However, his mind suddenly drew up a blank. He forgot everything. In time, the only thing that was on his mind was Sakura and ramen…

Kankurou, Kotetsu and Izumo stared blankly at Naruto as he started drooling.

_…Why am I the mildly retarded one?_ Kankurou thought, glaring at the drooling Naruto.

Kankurou elbowed Naruto and Naruto snapped back into reality. Somehow, elbowing him got his brain cells working again.

"Well, hello there," said Naruto.

Kotetsu and Izumo stared at him blankly.

"I think we already covered this part of the conversation," said Izumo, frowning.

"If you don't need our help, then go somewhere," said Kotetsu. "We're trying to guard this place—we don't need a bunch of distractions."

"You mean you would actually push away a couple of girls?" said Naruto, pretending to be offended.

"DO YOU NEED OUR HELP OR NOT?" Kotetsu snapped.

"Actually, we do need help," said Kankurou.

"Well that is for damn certain," Izumo muttered.

Kankurou ignored him. "I bet you guys could help us in a _lot_ of ways."

Naruto stared blankly at Kankurou.

_That wasn't sexy at all_, Naruto thought angrily. _He's not doing it right! I guess I'll have to step up…_

"We couldn't help but see you two and we decided to come over and say hi," said Naruto, winking.

Izumo and Kotetsu glanced at each other.

Kotetsu raised an eyebrow, giving an expression that said, 'Is she hitting on us?'

Izumo smirked, giving an expression that said, 'I hope so'.

Kotetsu stared incredulously, giving an expression that said, 'Are you out of your fucking mind?'

Izumo grinned, giving an expression that said, 'I hope so'.

Kankurou stared at Naruto blankly, but then when he realized that the guards were actually paying attention to them and not telling them to get the hell away, he caught onto Naruto's flirting.

"Oh," said Kankurou. Then he batted his eyelashes. "Yeah, we just thought you looked so handsome and…" Kankurou paused to think of a word. "Uhm, well, you looked all… ninja-y."

"Okay, that's great and all, but we need to focus on guarding this place," said Kotetsu, glaring at them.

Kankurou scowled.

_A pretty girl's flirting with you—you should be happy! Then again, you two spend so much time together… _Kankurou thought bitterly.

Izumo noticed the scowl. "He doesn't mean it like that!" he said. He laughed nervously.

Kotetsu glared at Izumo. "Yes I do."

"He's just joking, ladies…" Izumo flashed a returning glare.

While Kotetsu and Izumo had a mini glaring contest, Kankurou and Naruto glanced warily at each other. They then noticed their comrades starting to head over to the window of the library.

"So," said Kankurou. Kotetsu and Izumo stopped their evil-glares-of-doom to look back at the two before them. "When are you two getting off-duty?" said Kankurou, trying to sound flirty.

"Not anytime soon," said Kotetsu, frowning. "And again—you should leave—"

"—but of course," said Izumo. "It's always nice to have company." Izumo smiled.

Naruto giggled in a girly manner. Izumo was pleased, Kotetsu rolled his eyes and for a second, Kankurou looked as if he was about to gag.

"You two seem like strong, capable men," said Kankurou. As Kankurou was working his girlish charm, Naruto took a quick glance at his hand. When Jiraiya was giving them lines, Naruto wrote them down so he wouldn't forget.

"Y'know," said Naruto, interrupting Kankurou through the middle of some speech. "I just thought of something. Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?"

Kankurou stared at Naruto in shock. "Huh?" was all he could say. Meanwhile, Kotetsu and Izumo just stared at Naruto, confused.

"Your parents must've run a bakery, because those are some nice buns."

Kankurou inwardly groaned. Was he actually using those lines Jiraiya taught him?

"Look," said Kotetsu. "I'm starting to get annoyed—I have no problem throwing you guys out of here."

Kankurou and Naruto both glanced back at the window. All of them were almost in!

"What are you two looking at?" Izumo asked. The two guards were about to look in the same direction as the wall with the window—panic went through Kankurou and Naruto.

"QUICK! LOOK OVER HERE!"

Izumo and Kotetsu looked back at Naruto, alarmed. Naruto pulled his shirt off, flashing the guards.

Kankurou, Izumo and Kotetsu's mouths dropped. Kankurou was unsure of whether to bow his head in embarrassment or keep looking.

"T-THAT'S ENOUGH!" said Kotetsu, despite the fact that he was blushing profusely. "GET AWAY FROM HERE OR YOU'LL BE REMOVED!"

"Come on!" said Kankurou, grabbing Naruto by the arm. Naruto was using his shirt to cover his female body's assets.

When they were a good distance away, Naruto threw his shirt back on.

"Are you out of your frickin' mind?!" Kankurou screamed.

Naruto glared at him. "What's the big deal? Everyone got inside!"

"But now we can't distract the guards so the others can get back out!"

"They'll find a way," Naruto said, sounding positive.

"That was so… stupid!"

"But it worked!" said Naruto, grinning.

Kankurou sighed and shook his head. "I can not believe you did that…"

"I used to do it all the time with my _Oiroke no Jutsu_."

"You're fucking crazy."

"Yeah," said Naruto, his grin widening even further. "I'm crazy _and_ I have nice 'assets'."

( _- - -_ )

"All right!" said Iruka. "Lee and Gai will stay by the window to supervise and we'll go upstairs to look for that scroll."

Lee saluted. "We won't fail the mission!"

The others stared blankly as Lee and Gai pressed their faces up against the window. Gaara sighed and wondered why he wasn't put with the other group with the other quiet people.

( _- - -_ )

Jiraiya, Iruka, Chouji and Gaara reached the top of the stairs.

"The older and more powerful scrolls are usually up here in the attic," Jiraiya explained.

"Is the _Mystical Transformation_ really a powerful technique?" Chouji asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It is in a way," said Iruka. "After all, incomplete techniques can be dangerous to both the users and the victims. Also, it seems the _Mystical Transformation_ is a very old and ancient technique…"

"I wish there was an easier way to find it," Jiraiya muttered, scowling and the dozens of scrolls and shelves.

"Yeah," Chouji agreed. "We're never going to find it…"

"Found it," said Gaara.

Iruka, Chouji and Jiraiya all turned around and looked at Gaara in shock.

"_What_?!"

Gaara glared at them. "I _said_ I found it."

They all huddled over around Gaara.

"Get the hell away from me," Gaara said icily.

Jiraiya pulled the scroll from Gaara's hand. "This is it! How'd you find it?"

"Well," said Gaara. "Whoever brought the scroll back was really lazy and didn't feel like putting it away in the correct spot so they just threw it on the nearest shelf." Gaara glanced down at the shelf that was right next to him and closest to the stairs.

"Wow. I really didn't expect it to be that easy," said Iruka.

"Yeah," said Chouji. "I hope Naruto and Kankurou didn't have to go through that much either."

( _- - -_ )

Kakashi, Asuma, Neji, Shikamaru, Shino, Sasuke, Kiba and Akamaru were all sitting at a table in Ichiraku. Apparently, everyone decided they hated ramen because no one else was in there…

"It's really quiet in here," Sasuke commented.

"We got the scroll! We got the scroll!" Naruto screamed excitedly as he ran into the ramen restaurant.

"Now I know why," Sasuke muttered grimly.

Iruka, Jiraiya, Lee, Chouji, Gai, Naruto, Gaara and Kankurou all went up to the table.

"All right," said Kakashi. "Good work guys. We'll get some sleep and tomorrow we'll get Akamaru to find our real bodies."

"Where are we going to sleep?" asked Naruto, frowning.

"I guess we'll have to go to Kakashi's place again…" Jiraiya said.

Kakashi frowned.

( _- - -_ )

Hana walked down the hallway. It was late and she decided it was about time to go to bed. As soon as she passed the closet, she heard a loud noise on the other side of the door. Hana looked at the door cautiously, then, she quickly opened the door. Something fell onto the floor.

Hana's eyebrows rose as she stared at her cousin. "What the hell were you doing in the closet?"

"I don't remember!" he protested. His breathing was heavy and he looked frightened. "All of sudden this giant noodle came out of nowhere and attacked me! And then I woke up in this cramped closet! That's all I can remember!"

The boy started hyperventilating. Hana firmly placed her hands on her cousin's shoulders and looked him in the eye.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm down! You're just imagining things." Her cousin's breathing began to steady itself. "The whole idea is completely ridiculous and impossible. Noodles can't hurt people…"

End of Chapter

RLN: I didn't go back to edit it. If you noticed any huge mistakes, please tell me where they are…

…IN YOUR REVIEWS. (Hint-hint.)

By the way, I'm sorry this wasn't as funny as the other chapters… But the plot's moving forward. The next chapter will have a couple of twists. This story is also nearing the end, which is a good thing.

Until next time!

P.S. Also, I'm quite aware that fanfiction dot net puts the chapter titles at the top now, but I still like putting author's notes at the end and the beginning of chapters, so… yeah.

P.S.S. I'd also like to say that, in case you haven't heard it yet, I made a website for me and my fanfiction. I have links in profile, if you're interested in checking out the site. BUT YOU MUST REVIEW THIS CHAPTER FIRST!

P.S.S.S. Is it P.P.S or P.S.S.?


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